Waiting for Olivia Mame...

Christmas No. 2 in America

2011-12-13T12:02:00.000-08:00

What a difference a year makes! Olivia has been stitching up a storm as she makes beautiful presents for her family, teacher, grandparents and friends....

2011:

Looking back....Looking forward....a little over a year.

2011-06-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

It has been a year this month, since Olivia came to America and joined our family. After 27 months of waiting in an orphanage, from the time of our referral....now all that is forgotten.

She is a fun, loving, beautiful, smart and wonderful young lady! Olivia Hywot...we are so blessed that you are in our family and so honored to help you become the wounderful woman you will be!

Celebrating you!

six months.....

2010-11-29T11:59:00.000-08:00

it is hard to believe that Olivia has been home six months.... Did I REALLY wait two years?

She is a beautiful young lady.   We are ALL still learning how to be a family.   Changes bring the need for more changes in the way we interact and relate. But I am happy with our little family, and each of my precious children.

Olivia loves school, is learning quickly, loves to cook and help at home. She told me this morning, momma, give me work, lots of work, every day. lol...Never heard one of my kids say THAT before. :)

She is enjoying each special holiday and discovering life in a totally new culture.   She dances, sings, laughs and loves to tell us stories.

And she misses what she use to know.   It is an amazing journey we are all on together.

2010-08-31T09:32:00.001-07:00

I recieved this via email, from Empowered to Connect...it is written by Lisa from A Bushel and A Peck. So much in here spoke to the journey I am in the middle of....so I wanted to share it. The color highlights re mine.

Walking Humbly

Posted: 31 Aug 2010 04:46 AM PDT

By Lisa Qualls*

Recently, a friend and I leaned against my kitchen counter, watching our children play in the backyard. As we sipped coffee we chatted about a young couple in our church that is in the process of adopting two children. We reminisced about the time when we were in their shoes, recalling how little we truly knew and understood about the road that lay ahead. My friend and I agreed — we wished we could share all we have learned since that time about adopting children from “hard places.” We wished that someone had done the same for us.

As we talked, I realized that much of what we have learned along the way might be helpful to more than just this couple. They are good lessons and timely reminders for all of us who are on the adoption journey, no matter how far along.

I would encourage my friends to give up their pride and their desire to compare. I thought I was a fairly humble person, but adopting my children has brought me to my knees when it comes to thinking highly of myself and my capabilities as a mother. My oldest daughter was a hard baby and a challenging toddler, but once I got on the ‘Christian Mommy Discipline Train,’ she shaped up pretty well. That doesn’t mean I never had a child misbehave or throw a tantrum in public. I won’t even mention the time that four-year-old Noah pulled the fire alarm at church and the congregation had to evacuate the building. There were embarrassing moments to be sure. But this…this kind of parenting brings a different sort of humility.

In my first 20 years of being a mother, before adopting, I was never so stumped or so completely empty of wisdom as I have been at times in trying to be a good parent to the children we have welcomed into our lives through adoption. I never read so many books, pored over so many websites, or called so many experts in search of help. I never took my child to a therapist or felt that I might need one myself. I never called my husband home from work because a child was so distressed or out-of-control that I couldn’t keep everyone safe—and not just once, but many times. And as someone who was a passionate homeschooler, I never had to seek out alternatives to homeschooling because it wasn’t working. I never thought about acronyms such as IEP, RAD, or PTSD. I never sent an email to my friends telling them I couldn’t manage the summer on my own, and asking if they would be willing to help.

Based on my years of experience as a successful parent, I thought I had it all figured out, only to find out that as we began the adoption journey I was, in many ways, completely starting over.
But I quickly learned that there were many other things I did not know from my previous years as a mother. I didn’t know the indescribable joy of watching a child fall in love with me. I didn’t know the beauty of holding a child in my arms and fiercely loving her even though I had only met her weeks before. I didn’t know the agony of waiting for a child who was 8,000 miles away, or seeing her turn her face to me for the first time and come into my arms. I didn’t know the hope I would feel when I saw sad and tender tears on my child’s face for the first time, after months of anger and frustration. I didn’t know how incredible it would feel to hear my child say, “I love you, Mommy. You are the best Mom!” when I knew this was truly a revelation to her.
To those who are considering adopting a child from a “hard place” as well as those who are already traveling this journey toward healing, I say: be ready to lay down your pride and abandon yourself to love.

It will be different than you think—better in some ways and much harder in others. Find a few people you can trust, friends you can call at any hour, friends who will understand and love your children even when they seem unlovable. Don’t pressure your child to become like your other children who have been raised with loving guidance and discipline since birth. And do not, under any circumstances, compare your newly adopted child with your friends’ children. You will live to regret it. Rather, give your child time and permission to heal, and become a committed and active participant in that healing. It won’t be easy nor is it likely to come quickly. This healing will take a great deal of your time, energy, and finances…but give it all away for your child’s sake.

I have come to learn that it is precisely this kind of adoption journey – a journey of humility, selflessness and sacrificial love – that God called us to when He called us to adopt. I suppose Eby’s vacation Bible school verse says it best:

He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you? But to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. — Micah 6:8

Amen.

*Lisa Qualls has been married to her husband Russ for 26 years, and is the mother of eleven children who came to her by both birth and adoption. As she winds her way through the challenges of attachment, trauma, healing and life, she shares what she is learning in the hope of helping other families. She earnestly believes in the power of God to heal children’s broken hearts and is privileged to participate in that process with her own children. Her life is a journey filled with moderate successes and some brilliant failures, all covered by the grace of Jesus Christ. Lisa also writes about her life and family on her blog, A Bushel and A Peck.

The journey continues!

2010-06-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

Now that we are home.... I will be closing out this blog......I plan to make it into a book for Olivia (see here: Blog Books).

If you would like to follow her journey as part of our family journey...you can check in on our family blog from time to time.

Thank you for all of you who have prayed, cried, commented, encouraged and just been there....

God is good and now our lives continue...in Him.

Blessings to all!

Sisters: Mary and Olivia

Working: Nick and Olivia building wire shelves

Cheering: Life in the country!

(I still need to get a pictures of Taddy and Olivia!)

In Pictures...

2010-06-06T23:37:00.001-07:00

Make your own photo slideshow

Oh what a glorious Morning...

2010-06-06T18:46:00.000-07:00

We got home late lastnight...and stayed up late. .... Friends and family were at the airport to greet us..which was so special! Olivia ran to hug Mary and Anthony...Nanny and Papa...and friends with signs and balloons welcoming her home. (Thank you Donna, Heather and Joe)... and a big banner at our house..that we did not see until this morning.

I woke up at 6 am this morning, just pinching myself. :) all my kids home under one roof! I made a little breakfast....and we all sat down, with peaceful worship music on. It was a glorious morning. We went to church, even though I thought we would not, but we were all awake.

Olivia loves to read the words on the big screen in English, and I could hear her singing "Even so, come Lord Jesus Come." She told me, "Mom, me Orthodox." :)

She went to children's church with her brothers...and I sat next to her. then we went home...Olivia and I were both so tired...we took a 5 hour nap!!!!

But we are home...and our life starts....and I am so thriled. I just want to help any family on their way....so let me know...if you have questions and I will tell you the little I know.

I will post some of our photos...I went back and added a couple to the post before...and will add another post later tonight, of just pictures......so check back.

Thank you to everyone who prayed this one through for us...from beginning to end..... after my photo post...I plan to just keep up the other blog. I am going to print this one out, for Olivia to keep...but will not be updating it, I think...since she is NOW part of We are Family!!!

Blessings to everyone.....my girl is HOME!

Our Last Day in Ethiopia

2010-06-04T06:33:00.001-07:00

All is done, visa and passport in hand, and we leave for the airport in 3 hours. Nick is feeling better (had a fever yesterday) and I cannot praise our driver Melke enough...he is truly a Godsend. Today we went to a hair salon....you just can't imagine it....a tin building...where women come out lovely. As another mother and I sat whiler our daughters had their hair done, a herd of water buffalo or some type of long horn cattle were herded right by the window along the dirt, rock road. Truly a complex and diverse country,
So My girl has an opinion of her own, DEFINATELY. ON clothes, food, hairstyles...oh MY! I wanted her to get braids, hoping it would last awhile. she said she wanted loose curls they use a curling iron on...I said ok...after an hour in curlers under a dryer, she sat in the chair and they straightened her hair (temporarily) with a flat iron!!! After one strand, I said, wait, is that what she wants....and she said yes!

So, even though I did not like it...I agreed. She looks lovely....but very much older than her age! EEEEEK! But as she looked in the mirror with smiles, showed our driver, showed her brother back at the hotel...it is worth it. Not a style I will like her to have all the time, but for now...her first salon visit...she is happy and feels pretty.

She is wearing a bright "California" shirt....and is ready to get on the plane! Her first plane ride.

I am so blessed with God's care for us and blessings. It has been an interesting mind shift for me this week, to shift from who I thought I wanted to daughter (a young little girl of 8 or 9), to seeing who this is that God has given me care of....a beautiful girl/lady...with a life and way all her own...He has entrusted me with the second half of her "childhood" and I am now aware, my job is not to make her my daughter, but to see the blossoming girl she is and nuture her on her path to adulthood. What an honor.

She loves playing with another little girl, about Mary's age...so I am sure she and Mary will be fast buddies.

I am not looking forward to the next 24 plus hours...23 of them on a plane and 10 of them sitting in airports...but we will be home soon enough.

Thank you all who have prayed ...during this trip and for the 2 years previous. We are on the home stretch!

Next post will be from the good ol USA....after a bit of sleep!

At the airport..our last goodbye to dear Telefich. (sp?) they were good companions! Telefich and Dagem and family, Ben and Sue, were off to Montana.

First stop on US soil. Washington DC airport.

We Made it!!

2010-06-03T06:24:00.000-07:00

Today is Nick's birthday, 12 years old! and We completed our embassy appointment and all the paperwork is DONE!!! YEA! We are ready to come home.

Yesterday we went to a restuarant outside, rather than at the hotel, called Blue Top. It was very nice with flowers and Olivia loved a chocolate Sunday for dinner, her choice. Afterwards, we had to wait a bit for our driver, so we played in the courtyard,..silly games, and i saw Olivia laugh at her funny brother for the first time. Since then she has laughed alot.

She thinks it is funny when Momma tries to speak Amharic. She can read in English very well...speak a little. We bought some Amharic children's books which she loves to read.

We are all sleep deprived, but happy. God has blessed us richly. Unless you have been here, in Ethiopia, or somewhere like it . you do not realize the blessings we take for granted every day. the way of life....to just have shoes and a meal....amazing.

Gonna keep this one short and not profound...but we are doing good! tomorrow is a hair appointment for Olivia then homeward bound with our 22 hour flight.

Thank you everyone for prayers.....we so appreciate it!

Endurance is the name of the game

2010-06-02T06:11:00.000-07:00

.....or is it perseverance. :) So we are united. When we got to the orphanag yesterday morning, a lovely young lady, Hiywat, was waiting for us in the office. All smiles and hugs..... :) After hugging Nicky and I she asked where Mary and Anthony were! :)

She took us on a tour of the orphange. each and every room as she said good bye to all the caregivers. And we took lots of photos of kids, passed out lolly pops. One little boy took Nicks video camera...a baby, and tried to tape! Nick really enjoyed all the children.

The school age kids sang to Hiywat and I think I was the one crying. :) We then left the orphanage, stopped at a store and went back to the hotel..

Olivia Hiywat enjoyed going through her backbpack of goodies, and all her clothes. She immediately changed...and I picked the right sizes! YEA!

So both Nick and I were exhausted, feeling sick, me a headache, but we were now united. We colored, drew pictures, Nick played card tricks...a good first day.

And now, Wednesday morning, we all feel better. Olivia has the most beautiful hair...I tried to help her with it...but she knows far more than I. We are like two strangers in a room calling each other family. But we are family and we will grow into it.

About every two minutes, I hear this lovely accent say "mom"...:) Her teachers at the orphanage gave her an English/Amharic dictionary, and she understand and reads more English than she can speak.

So we are all happy together...and looking forward to making the trip home on Friday.

Abba is wonderful to us. Olivia is a wonderful daughter.

Go with the flow....

2010-06-01T07:32:00.000-07:00

I know in my life I have had some hard 24 hour periods...but...I think none too much harder than the last two days.... 22 hours on a plane...cramped plane..... well. I am on a no whining fast...so that is all I will say. on then two in 1/2 hours in the airport lines getting our visa and going through customs....BUT we are here!

We met a sweet couple on the plane in the seats across from us, Susie and Ben from Montana. They are adopting a little girl and boy from Hope too!! And she had even read my blog and had her husband ask me if that was me! lol. I am a celebrity in Ethiopia. Well not really... but fun to have another family to do this all with. We kept together through the long lines at the airport...like Indiana Jones ride lines on Spring Break at Disneyland...but NO fun ride at the end. :) We are at the same hotel, too, with five Hope families, but have not met them all yet.

Oh a hot shower last night felt like heaven in droplet form. This morning I woke at 3 am...and lay awake.....thinking. praying. This is the day ....June 1, the day we have waiting to long for.

I am so blessed that Nick is here with me ..truly...such a companion and helper...thank you Abba, that you arranged this.

Praying for my loves back home...Mary Beth...Taddy...Nanny and Papa...and Bella and Kitty too!

God is good! I could hear roosters crowing this morning, and the early light showed haze and smoke on the skyline of Addis Ababa.... I will write more when I can.....

and pictures, perhaps. I hope.

Thank you all for your prayers....and please DON'T STOP NOW!!! 2 hours until my girl!

The night before EVERYTHING changes....

2010-05-29T20:28:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow we board the plane for Africa! At long last.

I am looking forward to the long flight with 22 hours of NO TO DO LIST, and books, snoozing...praying....:)

Such a blessing that my eldest, Nick, gets to go with me and have his 12th birthday in Ethiopia.

I wonder if Hiywat (Seen it spelled many ways)....Olivia.... knows we are coming...or will Tuesday am be a big surprize for her?

Would you pray for our safe journey? For SMOOOOTH final paperwork with no issues? For safety abroad, for our meeting with Olivia....for my children and pets staying home, my parents......all of it.

I have a friend helping to post, hopefully, when I send her update by email..... so stay tuned!

Blessings to all who have walked this journey with us in prayers and tears. I know you are out there.

One day closer to you.....

2010-05-24T15:45:00.000-07:00

7 to go!

Things are coming together, all the puzzle pieces are lining up....

all the work tasks, and school tasks, and home tasks, and pre-travel tasks are all getting done.

It is ALMOST "get excited" time.... :)

What should I do in Washington DC with an 8 hour layover on the way home?

Any suggestions?

11 days and counting......

2010-05-19T12:42:00.000-07:00

Things are progressing. Ticket bought, hotel booked, Olivia's clothes packed, books,...

Arrangements for my kids staying here made.....

I have been working working working, to hand my work over to a back-up while I am out ALL SUMMER.

That, plus the end of school with all the extra field trips, awards assemblies, kindergarten graduation, teacher's gifts, piano recital, concerts....

Whew!!! I will be GLAD to be on a plane for 6, then 16 hours just to rest and read!!! Looking forward to it. I might even bring a NOVEL! lol.

Can you believe after so long, the time is just around the corner to actually bring Olivia home? And to experience Ethiopia???!!! I am so excited..and so blessed that my son Nick, gets to come with me. What a time we will have.

Please pray for our journey, my kids (and pets) at home, my mom who worries about us :), and our Olivia Hiywat.

Just 11 days.

Gonna GO Get my Girl!!!

2010-05-13T14:35:00.000-07:00

At last....a travel date! My embassy date is June 3 (which is also my Nicholas' 12th b-day) and Nick and I will be leaving for Ethiopia on May 29th!!

At last, at last ...our turn to go!

Beautiful Beads...and a momma's hope.

2010-05-05T20:14:00.001-07:00

So how quickly can you blow through $18? Seriously....five latte's or less..... not even a night at the movies with my kids.... maybe a Mcdonald's drive through run....

Well first....Read Katies blog Here (you MUST read it) I found out about these lovely beads..... Made by momma's in Africa to help feed their children........ Aren't they lovely??!!

And they are made from Magazines! Really! I just bought 10....some for myself and some to give as gifts....

Would you consider it? And help a momma far away!

Check them out here: http://147millionorphans.com/uganda-necklaces/ugandan-magazine-beads

Hiywot

2010-05-04T09:28:00.000-07:00

I found out today....my "Mame's" name on her birth certificate is spelled

Hiywot

Not sure how you pronounce it. I have been told that it means "life", which I am confirming that and the pronunciation.

We have thought of her as "Olivia Mame" for so long...this will be a mental change.

I have been told that many of the older girls being adopted want an "American" name too. So we will see her choice....

If she wants to be "Olivia Hiywot" or Mame, or Hiywot Mame or ?

How much notice?

2010-05-03T12:31:00.000-07:00

I heard from someone else today of a family that got one weeks notice before travel for them embassy date..... EEEEEK! I guess I better just get ready and start ordering those hair products!!

I need to have plans set up for each week it could possibly be!

Can you believe I am really at this stage????!!!

I can't!

Planning for school.....

2010-04-30T14:31:00.000-07:00

I am so excited, after all the wait, to think about Mame getting to go to Summit school with her new brothers and sisters in the fall. One of the teachers, is also an ESL teacher, and we are meeting next week to put together a summer plan for Mame....that I can do at home and help her be ready for the fall.

And then, when she starts school this fall, this same, wonderful teacher, is going to help and put together a program for her, depending on where she is and how much she has learned.

What a blessing.

These are pictures of Mame and her "school" time at the orphanage. I can see they learned a little English alphabet and some words....I cannot wait to talk to her face to face...or at least try. It is happy/sad to think that all the other children in these photos are home with their new families....while Mame has waited and waited.

BUT...her wait will be over soon.

Pictures during the wait....

2010-04-28T10:30:00.001-07:00

Todays picture comes from April 2009. Not normally in a dress, I am assuming this came in some donations....

My lovely daughter....

If a picture tells a 1000 words......

2010-04-23T09:27:00.000-07:00

Then what does a 1000 pictures tell?

lol. Well, not quite a thousand.

But in waiting two years for Mame....I have collected quite a few photos....about a year ago, I counted them ...and I had 400...and I have some new ones since then of course! I have made her a scrapbook, that is up to 99 pages already...and I have to finish...before I go.

So I thought over the next two months...as I wait to travel, I will share of those pictures. And all those traveling families, who have gone before, you will recognize your photography. Thank you!

Today's favorite...Mame and her girlfriends....who have been home in the States for quite a while.

Finally, my daughter....

2010-04-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

The journey of a 1000 days.....

......well actually 748! :)

Announcing my daughter:

Olivia Hiwot (Hewot?) "Mame"

as of APRIL 13th!

(I passed court 9 days ago, but no one told me..)

Jehovah be praised.....

watching the.....

2010-04-21T13:51:00.000-07:00

tick tock tick tock tick tock....

(one burden lifted, I was worrying last night about funds for the trip...and time off work, and I had forgotten about some stock I had. ;) Cashed in enough for the trip and time off. what a blessing.....God provides!)

tick tock tick tock tick tock...

The week that changed our lives....perhaps....

2010-04-19T12:56:00.001-07:00

There are some weeks....days..moments...that we hold our breath, as we realize...life will never be the same.

I don't know if this will be one of those weeks.....I have had four or five of them in my lifetime.....

hoping it will.....

waiting.....

Where the rubber meets the road.....

2010-04-16T09:27:00.001-07:00

feeling anxious....

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Phil 4:6,7

Counter's back up....9 days.....

2010-04-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

Maybe the news on April 22nd will be an early birthday present.....

Did not pass....

2010-04-13T09:44:00.001-07:00

I did not pass court. MOWA, who has to show up with their approval form...did not show up. My next (5th) court date is April 22.

Two nights.....

2010-04-11T20:02:00.000-07:00

Just two nights.....two more nights....until I know. ..... For the first time this afternoon, it started to hit me... that maybe, this time, maybe it will happen. All the waiting will be over and I will be a new momma.....

Could it be? Wish it was tomorrow night already....

Numbers and dates

2010-04-09T12:15:00.000-07:00

fourth court date, four days away

six to 8 weeks (if I pass) to embassy date

possible embassy dates every other Thursday: May 6, 20, June 3, June 17, July 1 July

7 weeks would be June 3rd.... my Nicholas' 12th birthday!

When will it be? It seems too.....unreal and scary that I might, after two years, actually be making a trip to Ethiopia....

To be honest...I feel nothing right now. I know, if I pass, I will be in tears and estatic..... I know if I don't, I will continue feeling nothing..... But I don't feel nervous or weary, or hopeful....odd.

Now wait and talk to me Monday night! lol.

Counting down....

2010-04-05T00:53:00.000-07:00

9 days until court.... I wonder if this will be the magic one...

It almost scares me....

Eeeek.... after waiting so long.

Those who read and pray....pray not just that we will pass court, but that the timing of the embassy appointment and logistics for my children staying at home will reveal themselves. At the minute I have no clue how that will work out....let alone be good for everyone.

But God does.

I have a date!

2010-03-30T10:58:00.000-07:00

A court date, that is....for "Olivia" "Mame" Hiwot!

Yippeeeeee!!!!!

April 13th!

Maybe this fourth time is the charm! It will be a year and almost two months since our last (third) court date!!!

AND...I do not have to travel twice! What a blessing!!!!

What I found on the floor....

2010-03-23T21:35:00.001-07:00

(N0, that is really not a picture of the floor of my car, or any floor in my house...hust a picture of papers on the floor, to illustrate a point...)

Junk mail and rapid schedules..... I get so much junk mail in my mailbox...those little newspaper flyers advertising this and that...and the mailbox is way down the lane, that I usually check it on my way driving in or out of our house....and then put it on the floor, to be dealt with later.

On Tuesdays I take the kids to a scouting program and the little boy, who is our new neighbor, goes with us. I had to give the van a good cleaning, putting back in extra seats since the move...so he would have room to sit. In the process, I saw this faded, flimsy little envelope with a forwarded mail label and barely visible stamped return address, underneath the Thomas Guide Map book and some junk mail newspaper ads.

Upon closer inspection, I noticed it was postmarked March 17, so not that old, and was from.....IMMIGRATION SERVICES??!!!!!!!

Quickly ripping it open, I thought, could this be my fretted over 171H..or a notice to get re-fingerprinted that I missed or ????. What if I had just grabbed it up with my junk mail and tossed it???!!!!

I had to read it twice and search the corner to find the form number and YES~ It was my new extended 171H sitting on the floor of my car for how many days???!!!!

EEEEEEEK..... sigh...but I have it. another milestone...and that much closer. So my side of the paperwork is allready.....

just waiting to hear of that new court date. (four more weeks of wait, by my guesstimation.) Maybe I will hear of my new date on my birthday.....and from all I am hearing, currently folks are not having to make the two trips..... The Ethiopian government has many details to work out first.....so praying I will make that window, before they get it all figured out and reinforced.

So a YIPPEEE day...I have my new 171H {barely!}

Hoping and a praying....

2010-03-19T21:19:00.000-07:00

Feb 23rd is when I was supposedly filed for a court date, (although it may have been the week after)...and talking to other adoptive parents, they took 7 weeks between filing for the date and getting a date...

which would put me at my birthday week in April to hear something... and then their court date was a week after that.

So maybe the end of April, beginning of May.

There are conflicting reports that the two trip requirement has been rescended or put on hold....that too many questions and issues had not been figured out...other rumors that only if you hear about your court date before a certain date....

so who knows. nothing for certain. .... I am praying I will only have to make one trip (all I an afford)...and that we pass court on this next try.....

Would you join in with me? Sometimes all these logistics, plus, as a single mom, figuring out what my kids will do suring the summer, when school is out and I am working.....if the adoption time does not coincide......it makes my head swim. sigh.....

not the easiest of roads....but I wold not trade if for any others I have seen out there. :)....

because I love God and I love my kids....

Another bump in the road....

2010-03-10T13:10:00.000-08:00

....looking for the blessing in disguise....

I just found out that Ethiopia has changed their adoptin regulations. They now require two trips in the adoption process. like many other countries do.

The first trip is at your court date, to give testimony as to your intent to adopt this child...in person. The second trip is for the embassy date to get your childs visa and bring her home.

I do not know if this goes into effect immediately or at some future date, but I am assuming it will impact me.

At first, I was heart sick, with yet another delay (perhaps) and more money to make the trip.

I have quickly moved to acceptance. (Although I HATE the more money part) and am trying to look at the benefit.I am hoping it will not delay my court date (we have filed for court am awaiting the date.) The only way I see it could, would be if this appearance is accompanied by more paperwork that needs to be done...or that the agencies need to figure it out first. Hoping there is not a delay.

There is the more money. Ugh. I hate to talk about money. It feels wrong to talk about money. But the money side of adoption is HARD, BIG, SCARY and often for many families, prohibitive. I am blessed that with some penny pinching, I should have the extra...... not what I planned on spending it on...(bye bye basketball hoop, laptop, camera and summer vacation trip).... but really, in the big scheme of things...the things are not important.

I don't like flying...so two trips away from my kids is a bummer...but I will just have to pray it all up. It is in God's hands, and He know all along this was coming down the pike.

So the good side:

Getting to see my Mame sooner and bringing her a suitcase full of goodies! Some clothes, and I will then be able to go back home and shop for her. Reassuring her of us....showing picture...visiting her country. I am hoping {thinking} the first trip for the court date could be shorter too....so maybe less expensive.... So that is a good side of it.

Also, with meeting her first, it changes what visa we bring her into the US with, and now, like Mary was, Olivia will become a US citizen the moment she touches US soil. So that is a good thing as well.

It will change my time off work..and give me one week less than what I had planned in the summer, but we can adjust to that.so...I am ok.

Thrown for a loop again....but ok.

I will wait and see what I hear from my agency.....I want that court date!

Another check mark on my road to being a mom of four....

2010-03-03T15:42:00.001-08:00

Today I had my fingerprint appointment with USCIS...for my 171H extension! yea....another step closer...

Timing.....unfathomable.....

2010-02-24T12:06:00.001-08:00

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...

I have seen the burden God has laid on men.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.

That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God.

I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him." Eccl 3:1,10-14

With my excitement on filing for a court date for Mame....I have started to think about timing. WHEN will it be that I would actually travel over to Ethiopia to bring her home? All along I had hoped it could be at the edge of summer. Between family care leave and vacation time I have saved up, if it was at the beginning of summer, I could take the whole summer off with my kids to help Mame acclimate to us (not to mention the money I would save without paying for summer childcare). Oh the fun we would have in our new country home with the whole summer off for all of us??!!!

But after 730 plus days of waiting to date, what are the chances that it would work out to be at the beginning of summer?

So I had to ask my homestudy agency how long our local USCIS it taking for the 171h extensions. I am worried, what if I passed court, but could not go, because I was still waiting on my new 171H? Their response was six to eight weeks. Two months????

So then I had to ask my international adoption agency how long are court dates being scheduled from the date we file for one? Their response"Right now, I am seeing court dates taking up to two months from the time we file." The same time frame...

Then I know my embassy/travel date is about four weeks after I pass court. So the timing of all this would be court in late April (maybe my birthday??) and embassy travel in late May!!! The edge of summer!!! The last day of school is May 28th.

Now I know that there are many things that could impact this imagined timeline...but wouldn't it be awesome!!??? I am open to whatever timing God has...but I giggle just to think about it!

362, 698, 730....

2010-02-23T09:40:00.000-08:00

730 days since I started this adoption journey for Olivia Mame....

698 days since her referral....

362 days since our last (third failed attempted) court date.......

....we are on the edge of happy.....

I got news today that a new court date is being requested (filed) for Mame, because all her paperwork is "ready"! Happy Dance.

(Now I have to get the updated POA sent to Addis, and am waiting to get fingerprinted for my new 171H).

sigh...sitting happy.

Edging closer.......

2010-02-22T12:04:00.001-08:00

It bears repeating:

"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." - Proverbs 25:11

"As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country." - Proverbs 25:25

So I have to get a new POA notorized, authenticated and what ever that other thing is off to Assistant Stork.

I am still waiting on the new 171H (Still waiting on the homestudy agency to send the homestudy to the USCIS)...and then get fingerprinted...ONE MORE TIME....

But I am still happy!

.... we are edging closer to you, Mame....

What a difference a day makes....

2010-02-15T08:09:00.000-08:00

"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." - Proverbs 25:11

"As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country." - Proverbs 25:25

I have used this photo before, but it bears repeating. :)

It is funny how a little word, a little clarification, one sentence, can spring hope and excitement where none had been.

We may have progress (awesome, stalled for 16 months type progress) on Mame's case. The coming weeks will tell if this news is the hope I hope it is.

Smiling today.....

Two Step....

2010-02-14T21:06:00.001-08:00

One step forward, two steps sideways..... no end in sight.

I know there is an end, someday...right?

I saw new pictures today, of Mame being read the letter we sent her...the "you are not forgotten".

Yet, I have no idea if it is months, year. ever.....

I don't give up. I pencil in plans....remain flexible. Pray, hope, and hang on.

I think we are at point "B", {z actually} only to find out we are at point "zero" or 24, who knows.... When you are at a step, and you don't know how many there are {and it seems like eternal steps without end}...you are not sure, as you hear "supposed" progress...is this closer, is this sideways, or is this backwards.

Cotton-eyed Joe without the fun music, and twirly skirt.

And this is where I trust the Father, without understanding. I have asked. Other's have asked....so it is not a "you have not because you ask not". I have prayed fervently...so power and effectiveness has been brought to the cause, even when I don't see it. I have no idea of the "why" of the delay, in God's eyes. I know He is all-powerful, all loving, I can see changes for the good he has made {is making} in her momma and siblings....better prepared I am sure.

So we do what we do. I wished I could get thrilled on side-step news, new photos. :( I am sorry that I do not. I love the photos...but they are also sad. I love news. Makes me know that something is happening. ..... but I do not know if it is almost there news, or just another step in the long and winding road.

So lovely daughter, far away....life will change one day. There will be lots of laughter, tons of hugs, new wonders, and strange food. :) And I am sure some sibling squabbles. But it will start...someday...I hope.

Meanwhile we take one step forward and two steps sideways....

Happy Valentines Day!

New Pics...fresh ache

2010-02-04T13:15:00.000-08:00

I saw new pictures of my daughter today. Ones taken last week. I wish you could see them! She is so beautiful. Becoming a lovely young lady, without a momma.

22 months we have been waiting.

I sent a letter over with a family leaving tomorrow... just to ask her to keep believing, and we love her and miss her and cannot wait for her to come home.

All the clothes are too small, but we will have fun shopping.

Oh, Lord how long? How about now? Is it time now?

In a Bible Study I am doing with some other ladies, this week, it talked about how hard it can be some times to get to our promise land. That it takes a lot of spiritual muscle building (faith, hope, prayer, trust, grace, believing) to get to our promise. And that is because once we get our promise, it takes a lot of spiritual muscle to keep it from our enemy who is out to kill and steal and destroy.

I know from the experience in the trenches that being a "broken momma of broken children" IS hard! {and wonderful!} And that it daily takes the grace, faith and trust from God, that it took to become a moma.

So I know that. I know these 22 plus months have taught me a lot, brought me further on in healing, and that I have far to go. I know I will NEVER be truly ready. But God's grace will fill the gap. I have to believe, Lord, that she is ready. That she has waited long enough.

Soon, Lord, please, soon.

She wears a cross on her neck, a great reminder in where our trust is.

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness.

I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus name.

On Christ the solid rock, I stand,

all other ground is sinking sand

all other ground is sinking sand.

Bittersweet....

2010-01-22T12:15:00.000-08:00

bittersweet: being at once bitter and sweet; especially : pleasant but including or marked by elements of suffering or regret

I finally recieved a new picture of Olivia Mame today....the last few batches of pictures, from traveling families brining there children home, did not contain any pictures of her. I was worried. Fearing she was hiding from the camera, the vivacious girl who is normally upfront and out there!

Today I saw a picture of her and the tears rolled.

Such a bittersweet little Mona Lisa smile on her face. And her eyes so big and sad. My heart melts like chocolate.

I have had word that she feels she is forgotten. That she had a spell of refusing to talk to the workers, because they do not have a family for her. (Or at least one who will come and get her! I am sure our photo album and care packages have long been forgotten. How could you expect a child to hold on to that, day after day?)

I have heard her real name is Hiwot or Hewit...and that it means Life. After 22 months of "Mame", (which I am told is a "house" name or nick name)... it is hard to wrap my head around a different name... I have heard that others call her by Hiwot though, as well as Mame....

You are not forgotten dear one. You are not. By me or by God. I promise!

You are spoken of and prayed for and heart-loved constantly.

Image 0220, in the light blue shirt with the sad smile, you are my daughter.

Please Pray...

2010-01-13T11:18:00.000-08:00

Please pour on the prayers for my girl right now...it is much needed.

The enemy of our lives would love to keep us in chaos, fear, anger, and alone.

Our God is mighty in power, His understanding has no limit. He can breakdown any stronghold and overcome any impediment that man would raise.

After 22 months, we need to pray Mame home....would you join me?

The waters can look overwhelming, but there is a little soul at stake...and our God, El Roi, is the God who sees....

Abba, Mame, she needs you...on the white charger, to come to her recue. We cannot do this without you. Only you can fight the odds and bring her home. Calm the storm, right the wrongs, save the hearts and rescue your daughter......my maker, my husband, I have no where else to turn but to you, please, rescue your daughter.

Sandee

Melkam Ganna, sweet Mame....

2010-01-07T13:54:00.000-08:00

It was Christmas today in Ethiopia...

Mame's second Christmas in the orphanage. Last year we were blessed that there were families traveling on this day and I have photos of the Christmas celebration at her orphanage.

They had songs and treats and new shirts, a small tree and a goat for dinner!

With all our worries and wait I have with bringing Mame home, she had a special day today.

I pray for each and every one of the children in her orphanage:

Ah Abba,

you see them,

you love them,

your plans for them ache in your heart as it does in ours.

Your power and understanding has no limits...

I pray for each child there, every one, not ONE left behind.

Move I pray on their behalf...move for them I pray.

Bless them all, as they sleep right now after a special, exciting day.

Amen..

Melkam Ganna little ones!

.....

2009-12-26T09:43:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas, Baby girl....

surely next year...... surely.

Jubilee.....

2009-12-14T11:33:00.000-08:00

"...a little girl without a family for almost 8 years now has a family that will love her forever!." Precious Jubilee, after 600 days of wait and what looked like a closed door, has just met her momma....

There is rejoicing in heaven...and here too.... Congratulations Linny, Jubilee and family!

You give me hope and spur me on. You lift me up and inspire me when my spirit is dragging...

And Kat...your comment yesterday....thank you...bless you....your prayers mean more than you know. Thank you.

A message of Hope and Miracles...

2009-12-13T18:24:00.000-08:00

The message at church today was about hope and miracles and praying for your own miracle. I prayed for Mame.....and my kids.....

I truly want to believe in a miracle....even after all this time. God's timing I cannot understand. I feel so urgent. As days, weeks, months, years pass...I feel..God how can THIS timing be right, as we all get older?

Most people have stopped asking.

Those that do, ask hesitantly.

Or they assume the worse. I have had two folks in the past month say something like, I don't think she is coming home. Or "they" are doing something wrong. (ie corrupt). Like how in the world could I keep hoping and believing?

Sad words

sad looks

There is no way I could explain to someone not in this journey how it could ever take this long. How we can wait month after month after month for a piece of paper, knowing nothing, yet still believing.

Our enemy does not want my daughter in a family. Does not want any of these children adopted. But what he has planned for ruin, God has planned for good. I don't know why He has allowed it to go on this long. I don't know why it is has come to this. But I don't for a minute believe that God does not want me to adopt Mame. He is all about the orphan and families.

Something so hard (and so long) just makes all the minor stuff so very very minor. .....

So sad looks, sad words..... I can handle it. One day this sadness will turn to joy, I believe that. Lord, I do believe that.

sad face...

2009-12-12T09:47:00.001-08:00

i saw new pictures of my girl today.... and she has a sad face.....no hopeful, not smiling for the camera...

ah dear one, I know how hard it is to keep hoping, believing..... sometimes I sit and see it has been two years since i started this journey, and I just cannot believe it. it is unreal. your little sister has grown from 4 to 6, your big brothers from 7 and 9 to 9 and 11..... a lot of living in two years.....and a lot of longing. Its not fun waiting anymore, as if it ever was. But I use to get excited with photos and excited with trip reports and excited to look at my email and hope for news...

now it all makes me sad.....

God is close to the brokenhearted..... hold on sweet one, joy cometh.

More Hoops.......sigh...

2009-12-11T15:58:00.000-08:00

yea, I know...it's small potatoes...but it seems like every time I think I am done, there is something else to do.

I am getting my home study updated. I have done everything the agency requires, and I sent my app with the requirements listed into the USCIS office.

I got a letter today, from the USCIS office that, of course there are MORE hoops to jump...even though they did not include it on the list of things is said I needed to send it to them, before.

sigh... so now more paper chasing. They want three things....one of which I don't remember how I get it.

Sigh..

weary of it all...but she is worth it.

Three Christmas Gifts....for Mame

2009-12-04T11:17:00.000-08:00

Dear sweet daughter, not yet mine,

I cannot give you presents, at leatst not now, not the normal kind. Oh I do have for you a dolly, I have been saving since last year, and drawers full of clothes you keep outgrowing, without one tag taken off. Your growing little sister has enjoyed the "hand me downs". I have some books and hair bows and clips and pjs and robe.

But all of those will have to wait.

This Christmas, I have three OTHER gifts I am giving you....

Faith, Hope and Love.

Faith, in God our Abba, our daddy, who sees you, knows your heart, has good plans for you, for your future and is preparing a place for you, a family for you, love for you, that you do not know. Faith, because I know HE knows the timing and the exact moment when my hands will touch your face for the first time. I hold on to that faith in Him, for you...

Hope, that even when it looks darkest, longest, most overwhelming, to know how our God works and to hope in Him. To know we are on the edge of triumph and great joy. That those who sow in tears will reap in joy..and joy cometh in the morning...any morning now... I keep my Hope running bright, for you. And for "Hope", the place you have lived these past twenty-two months. For those who have fed you and clothed you and taught you in school. For the friendships and care.

Love, that I love you, when I have never yet met you. And that your brothers and sisters love you to. That we all know this love will grow, when we are united as a family. That we know our loving heavenly Father, Abba, is pouring out His love into our hearts and into yours. ...and we can love each other, because He first loved us....

Love is patient....

So I take these three gifts for you, faith, hope and love, and I wrap them all up in prayer and send them off for you.

Merry Christmas, dear Mame.... hold on yet a while longer.

Momma.

Check, check, check....

2009-12-03T13:56:00.000-08:00

doctor visits - check
lab tests - check
medical reports - check
home visits - check
employment verifications - check
friend referrals - check
forms, forms, forms - check - check - check
three school teacher letters, - check
copies of birth certificates, government forms, applications, drs license, insurance cards, registrations...... - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check - check
fingerprints.... - check

Today I finished the last item I needed to do or collect for our homestudy update. Since it is over 18 months since the first one, it had to be done again. :(

All done, but the money. It is hard to find a big chunk of ..well not change...paperstuff...during this Christmas month. Praying the Lord will provide and help me squeeze it out through the cracks.

sigh....pray Mame goes to court SOOON and we pass....it is time, dear Lord, isn't it?

Hungry for hope......

2009-12-02T09:24:00.000-08:00

ps. Note to self: There is nothing new that God did not already know, at the time I started this journey. He saw and knew it all in advance...and had it planned for. Hold fast!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last night, after a battle of flesh and spirit, my son, hungry for hope, asked me to read from a christian book we are reading together :How to make Brothers and Sisters Best Friends"? He was hungry for hope....and in the middle of discouragement and despair, was longing for a glimmer that things could be different....

We are all hungry for hope....as we wait on God.

Giving voice.....

2009-12-01T10:44:00.000-08:00

....to our children....orphan or not.... Making them feel safe, loved, cared for heard...through giving them a voice to speak. Directing them to use good words, but helping them understand you are listening. Also nuturing the caregiver...momma or whoever... In Beyond Logic, Consequences and Control, one concept that keeps coming back to me, reproving its validity, is that the adult/parent in the situation has their own brokenness and needs healing, otherwise we react from our own pain.

Dr. Karyn Purvis on Giving Voice:

The Importance of Giving Voice to Children from Tapestry on Vimeo.

It must be love....

2009-11-19T09:53:00.000-08:00

March 27th 2008 is when I recieved my referral for Mame. Was told most adoptions in Ethiopia are completed in 6 months. With all the hoops and paperwork (and money) and delays and failed court dates and changes in personnel and changes in policy and courts and law and .....

all of it...much more I won't mention here.... I am surprized in a way that I am still here. That the proverbial towel has not hit the floor and the fighter stumbled away.

But I am. Like I am with my children I already have at home, I am in love with my child and you take whatever comes. Doesn't mean you don't feel and reel from each punch, each blow, each gasp for breath as the air has been knocked out of you again..... It is hard to keep a sense of excited, frenzy, after 18 months of waiting and no end in sight. It is hard to get hopeful about any evaporating droplet of news.... (usually isn't any)... and when personnel changes once again, I get scared.

Will the "new folks" care about my daughter? Will the understand the urgency of her paperwork in the mountain of others? Will they take any personal, push it through action?

So fear stirs in my airless belly.

But then, I remember....

When I am afraid, I trust in God. He is my hope and Mame's. He is never suprized or sucker-punched. So I trust, pray and trust...and ache.

It must be love....

Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control..

2009-11-15T13:46:00.000-08:00

I am halfway through this book, after staying up to 1 am last night reading...and then a couple hours this morning.

It is profoundly resonating with me, as Karyn Purvis The Connected Child book (and her videos) did.

I feel the two really compliment each other. I have yet to apply my learning, but just the understanding alone is turning the light on my darkness of confusion, hopelessness and frustration.

I believe God works in so many ways in our lives, and a book is often one of his big ways in mine.

I felt so saddened and frustrated last week, when I tried to share with a teacher how a child with attachment challenges or who has come from "the hard places" (Karyn Purvis' term) reacts and handles correction differently, and their behavior challenges come from different motives.

I received no affirmation or even willingness that perhaps that could be true and just the response of "Well I don't know about that. All I know is the Bible and it says Children Obey."

It saddened me. Of course the Bible is full of wisdom and the very principles in this book and in the Connected Child are dripping with the gentleness, love, compassion, grace and understanding of Jesus. It feels like, with children, we often put them under the old testament law, versus the message of grace.

If we as adults cannot live under the law, if WE do what we don't want to do and don't do what we want, then why do we expect little souls to be successful under the law, rather than grace? Because it is easier, for us. It is black and white and clear and this equals that.

yet, hearts and little souls are not that cut and dry.

What I am praying now, as I learn things from this book, is not only how to apply that at home, in our family, but how I can help my children's teachers open up to what would encourage and reinforce connection and relationship, versus what would trigger fear and stress responses. It is not easy being a teacher, I know. It is not easy being a momma. And it really is not easy being a little child "from the hard places."

I highly recommend this book..for all adoptive parents, but I am also seeing in my other two, who have experienced the trauma of a divorce, abandonment, etc....it applies to them as well.

One pair of shoes...

2009-11-05T10:56:00.000-08:00

This is so beautiful......(thanks Cris for sharing it)

Children from Hard Places: What Everyone Needs to Know

2009-11-03T10:40:00.000-08:00

This comes from Empowered to Connect... thought I would share:

-------------------------------------
“Children from Hard Places.” This is the phrase used by Dr. Purvis and others to describe children that have experienced some type of abuse, neglect or trauma during their lives (including prenatal exposure to substances or high levels stress, difficult labor or birth before or medical trauma). Obviously, this phrase applies to most children who were adopted or spent time in foster care.
Our focus for these children must always be clear: to help them heal and become whole in body, mind and spirit. This is done not by focusing on achieving “good behavior,” but by helping our children create strong connections built on trust. Out of this can grow not only “good behavior,” but so many other things that our children need and that we desire for them. By balancing structure with nurture and always remaining mindful of the inherent preciousness of each and every child, we have the opportunity to help our children realize dramatic strides and in the process discover (and re-discover) the joy in parenting.
In this presentation (from April 2009 at Summit V, hosted by the Christian Alliance for Orphans), Dr. Karyn Purvis talks about what everyone needs to know about children from hard places – and how we can go about creating and fostering strong and lasting connections to help them heal and grow.
audio recording of this presentation (mp3 file)
This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now

A new Ethiopia Ocean???

2009-11-03T09:31:00.000-08:00

"A 35-mile rift in the desert of Ethiopia will likely become a new ocean eventually, researchers now confirm. "

The crack, 20 feet wide in spots, opened in 2005 and some geologists believed then that it would spawn a new ocean. But that view was controversial, and the rift had not been well studied. " Read more here.

Derartu Tulu wins NYC Marathon

2009-11-01T20:54:00.000-08:00

Ethiopian mother of 6 wins the NYC marathon!

I had a little giggle.....

2009-10-27T16:13:00.001-07:00

I had a little giggle yesterday....as I realized something.

Something I must have known, but did not admit? Not even to myself. Because once I said the thought, in my mind, it locked in like a missing puzzle piece. Like it was there all along, unnoticed.

As I read some responses to my "Surely Not" post, and read once again, Linny's great post on other's reactions to adopting, or adopting again....

I got this little giggle, way down deep in my tummy/heart....

...a secret thrill.

The giggle came from the fact that I realize, ....
as I wait for Olivia, confident she will join us early in 2010, after our long wait
as I tighten the belt and watch our budget tightly
as I pray and ponder over each of my precious children's individual challenges
as I struggle over my own spiritual growth
as I juggle schedules and field trips and home work
as I make Christmas, rather than buy Christmas
as large birthday parties have been replaced with small family celebrations
as I wonder how God can think I am enough, as their parent
as I know too well any providing I do, is by the Grace and provision of God
as I feel my body aging, and see it in the mirror
as I look back into other eyes that shake their head in confusion about me
as I have yet to find the meal, that all mouths will praise {and eat}

I realize {admit what my heart already knows}
that I will adopt...... again. {Lord providing}

And my heart swells and my soul giggles. With a secret Madonna-smile on my lips, I ponder these things in my heart.

I know all the logical protests. I live them.
I know the just-don't-get-it puzzlements. I see them.
I know that without the grace of God we will never make it. I embrace it.

I know I will adopt again and it makes me giggly, happy.
Don't know when, don't know who, don't know how. But I know why...

James 1:27 clearly states: Pure religion in the sight of God is to care for the orphan and widow, and my heart wants to. Was born to. Finds joy in it.

And those who get it, giggle with me.
The rest of you, pray for us! :)

Surely Not?

2009-10-27T11:35:00.000-07:00

(This was sent to me by someone else, written by someone else....yet, well worth the ponder.)

______________________________

Imagine with me for a minute…

Right now, today…

you are small and alone.

You are hungry and lost.

You have no home, no parents, and seemingly no future.

You are scared, and weak, from days without food. You have nowhere to go, nowhere to be.

People walk by you but they don’t even look your way. It’s like you are invisible, nothing.

You keep walking, your feet are bleeding and sore… and yet still you manage to cling to the small bit of hope, the little voice inside your head that says maybe, just maybe, one day things will get better. Maybe one day -you will matter.

It is getting dark outside- inside your fear is growing. Where will you go?

Your heart is beating faster, and your fear becomes overwhelming, consuming your every thought. Then you see it, a dirty, broken cardboard box and you bow your head thanking God for His provision. For you have found it- shelter. Safety, if only for one night.

You slip underneath it, hugging yourself, vowing once again not to cry- because by now you know tears are a waste of your strength. Your eyes become heavy, despite the sweltering temperature. As you begin to drift off to sleep you pray, hoping, dreaming, of a family of your own one day...of a place where you will matter...to someone.

Somewhere else in the world is a family...

They are just sitting down to dinner together.They are smiling and their laughter fills the room.

Dinner is served and they bow their heads and they pray- thanking God for their many blessings… their home, their job, the food that is set before them.They lift their heads and go back to the laughter and the joy.

They talk of their upcoming vacation plans, the lunch date they shared with a friend today and the movie they plan to see this coming weekend.

More laughter, more excitement, more. As the leftovers are scraped into the garbage can and the table is cleaned up, hot bubble bathes are taken by all.

Evening settles in, and the family slips under their down comforters preparing for a good night's sleep.

Before turning out the lights, the husband leans over to kiss his wife good-night. She shyly smiles at him and begins to tell him that she has been feeling that perhaps God is calling them to adopt.

The room grows quiet as they are both lost in their own thoughts…

their minds are flooded with questions, concern, and then inevitably -fear.

How could they manage?
Another child?
Why, they already have two!
Where would they put the child?
Who would share a room?
How could they afford to adopt?
Would they be able to take that vacation?
What would people think?
What if the child, you know, caused ‘problems’?

As their eyelids become heavy, they begin to drift off to sleep...
and they think to themselves ‘surely not’.

Surely God knows this is not convenient.
Surely God wants them to take that vacation they deserve...
Surely he knows how busy they are.
They have plans and they have dreams.
As sleep overcomes them, the temperature in their master bedroom is perfect…
and their pillows are fluffed to perfection.

Life is good for them, just as they had planned...
Because after all, they matter...
Too much...

to themselves.

Ethiopia seeks urgent food aid for 6 million

2009-10-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

News Article from Oct 22:

Ethiopia said Thursday it needs emergency food aid for 6.2 million people, an appeal that comes 25 years after a devastating famine compounded by communist policies killed 1 million and prompted one of the largest charity campaigns in history.
The crisis stems from a prolonged drought that has hit much of the Horn of Africa, including Kenya and Somalia.
Drought is especially disastrous in Ethiopia because more than 80 percent of people live off the land. Agriculture drives the economy, accounting for half of all domestic production and most exports.
Mitiku Kassa, Ethiopia's state minister for agriculture and rural development, appealed to donors Thursday for more than $121 million. In January, he had said that 4.9 million of Ethiopia's 85 million people needed emergency food aid.
Ethiopia has long struggled with cyclical droughts, which are compounded by the country's dependence on rain-fed agriculture and archaic farming practices.
In 1984, Ethiopia's famine drew international attention as news reports showed emaciated children and adults with limbs as thin as sticks. The crisis launched one of the biggest global charity campaigns in history, including the concert Live Aid.
This year's drought appears to be slightly less severe than the one last year, which was exacerbated by high food prices. A year ago, Mitiku appealed for aid to feed 6.4 million people affected by drought. Many humanitarian groups have said in recent years that they believe the number of people affected by hunger is higher than government estimates.
Because of Ethiopia's large size and poor infrastructure, independent observers have difficulty collecting data. The worst-affected areas in the country's east are the site of a fierce insurgency and are off-limits to journalists. Aid groups say their movements in these areas are limited by military restrictions.
Nick Martlew, an official with the aid group Oxfam in Ethiopia, said the country's east should be green and healthy now, but that crops are wilting in the sun and won't produce a sufficient amount of food.
"Really until June next year there is going to be insufficient food around," he said. "Where we are in eastern Ethiopia you can look out and it's completely barren as far as the eye can see."
Drought and water shortages are also increasing in Ethiopia's south because of a changing climate, Martlew said. Oxfam is helping villages collect rain water for long-term use.
In a report marking 25 years since Ethiopia's famine, Oxfam said countries must focus on preparing communities to prevent and deal with drought and other disasters before they strike, rather than relying on importing aid.
According to the U.N., nearly two-thirds of Africa's agricultural land has been degraded by erosion and misused pesticides. In Ethiopia, where bad farming practices have led to massive erosion, 85 percent of land is damaged.
"The current humanitarian situation underlines our belief that while food aid — much of it donated by foreign donors — is important and can save lives, we need greater funding for longer-term solutions, which can begin to tackle the underlying causes that make people so vulnerable to disasters," said Oxfam's Ethiopia country director, Waleed Rauf.
In eastern Ethiopia's Hararge zone, the scene of some of the worst hunger and drought-related suffering last year, health official Aliye Youya said few infants had come in to the main feeding center for treatment. A new initiative by the Ethiopian government to put health workers in every neighborhood has helped, he said.
But he said he was still concerned about the lack of rain in some areas.
"(A month ago) there was no rain, especially in the lowland areas," he said. "But nowadays there is some rain. The drought is affecting the lowland areas."

Hope ..... and prayer.

2009-10-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

(Picture of the city of Gondor)

I received three new pictures of my girl this week. She is looking so BIG. I can't wait to see her face to face, touch her cheek, braid her hair and hug the dickens out of her.

I received some hopeful promising news today. We were waiting on a) the rainy season to stop and b)a living relative to be found to complete the relinquishment papers.

Well, the rains have stopped...(at least to the point that the courts are open and the roads are passable)...AND..... (drum roll please!) A relative has been found and has agreed to finish the paperwork. The challenge is that she is elderly and need to travel from her village to Gondor to complete the paperwork. Please pray that this will happen next week. And we can move forward from our long, long, long wait.

Odd Man Out...a peek at "In"

2009-10-04T13:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got a peek at the "to be"....what is to come.....

When I decided to adopt again, I decided to adopt another little girl, because I already had two sons and one daughter. I also changed my mind on adopting two little girls, at the same time, this time around, for the same reason....

Odd man out, is no fun. As much as we are a family, in all of this together, with two boys, sharing the same room, the same boyish interests, and often the same "play themes"...Mary often ends up feeling like the odd man out. Sleeping in her room alone....no playmate when the boys are playing something a little too advanced for her....

Yesterday I got a peek, and she got a taste, of what it will be like in our future, when Olivia Mame is here. We went to my brothers to visit...and all four of my neices and nephews were there, two of my nieces with their four children between them...which brings us to Heaven. Heaven is the step-daughter of one of my nieces and about two years older than Mary, still young enough to be a playmate. All day long the two of them played...dolls, lincoln logs, squirt guns, pool antics.... They may have squabbled quietly {yes, it actually WAS quietly, compared to the boy/girl squabbles that happen in our home}, but overall they just hung out and enjoyed each other's company. And I noticed NOT ONCE did she and her brothers get into an argument about ANYTHING! It was such a delight!!!

And it just showed me how life can be for us, once Olivia is here. Wow! The difference in Momma's day (and peace of mind) was astounding and Mary seemed to just be delighted! It also confirmed my decision of why I should adopt only one at this time. (Who knows what the future may bring. :) I keep thinking about a post I saw of "siblings available for referral.")

Thank you Lord for a peek into what is to be!....

Ethiopia in the Bible....

2009-10-02T13:01:00.001-07:00

The references below were researched and copied by Chuck, wife of Cris..from her blog here. Just wanted to share.

CREATION

Ethiopia is first mentioned in the Creation account itself. The river that watered the Garden of Eden (Gen 2:10) split into four giant rivers: "The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold... the name of the second river is Gihon: that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia." (Gen 2:11, 13). God's "Garden" was quite colossal, actually - more like a giant preserve, a country or a continent. His "Garden" had to be watered by a mighty river! That river split into four other mighty rivers, two of which flowed in Ethiopia.

THE PROPHET ZEPHANIAH

The prophet Zephaniah was at least half Ethiopian (he had an Ethiopian father, no info about his mother). This Israelite prophet was a direct descendant of King Hezekiah: "The word of the LORD which came unto Zephaniah the son of Cushi, the son of Gedaliah, the son of Amariah, the son of Hizkiah, in the days of Josiah the son of Amon, king of Judah." (Zep 1:1). "Cushi" means "man of Ethiopia". There are three men named Cushi in scripture, all very prominent: Joab's runner (2 Samuel 18:21-32), the great-grandfather of Jehudi the scribe (Jer 36:14), and Zephaniah the prophet's father (Zep 1:1).

MOSES WIFE

Moses had an Ethiopian wife. He married her after his first wife died. Moses' only children were through his first wife, Zipporah (1 Chr 23:15). God punished Moses' sister Miriam with leprosy after she and his brother Aaron spoke against Moses for marrying her (see Numbers 12:1-15).

JEREMIAH'S RESCUER

Another Ethiopian saved Jeremiah's life. Jer 38:4-15 records: "Therefore the princes said unto the king, let this man be put to death..." Zedekiah the king said, "Behold, he is in your hand..." "Then took they Jeremiah, and cast him into the dungeon of Malchiah the son of Hammelech, that was in the court of the prison: and they let down Jeremiah with cords. And in the dungeon there was no water, but mire: so Jeremiah sunk in the mire. Now when Ebed-melech the Ethiopian, one of the eunuchs which was in the king's house, heard that they had put Jeremiah in the dungeon; Ebed-melech went and spoke to the king, saying, My lord the king, these men have done evil to Jeremiah the prophet, whom they have cast into the dungeon; and he is likely to die for hunger in the place where he is: for there is no more bread in the city.Then the king commanded Ebed-melech the Ethiopian, saying, Take thirty men with thee, and take up Jeremiah the prophet out of the dungeon, before he die. So Ebed-melech took the men with him, and went into the house of the king under the treasury, and took old rotten rags, and let them down by cords into the dungeon to Jeremiah. And Ebed-melech the Ethiopian said to Jeremiah, Put these under your arms. And Jeremiah did. So they drew up Jeremiah with cords, and took him up out of the dungeon: and Jeremiah remained in the court of the prison.Jer 39:15-18 says, "Now the word of the LORD came unto Jeremiah, while he was shut up in the court of the prison, saying, Go and speak to Ebed-melech the Ethiopian, saying, Thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Behold, I will bring my words upon this city for evil, and not for good; and they shall be accomplished in that day before thee. But I will deliver you in that day, saith the LORD: and you shall not be given into the hand of the men of whom you are afraid... because thou hast put thy trust in me, saith the LORD." God used this Ethiopian man to save the life of the prophet Jeremiah, then God blessed Ebed-melech by saving his life in return. A RUMOR

SAVES JERUSALEM

God also used a rumor about an Ethiopian king to save Jerusalem during one of the most famous battles in the Bible. The Bible talks about this battle in 2 Kings 18 and Isaiah 37. There was a king named Rab-shakeh who had Jerusalem surrounded. It looked like God's people were doomed. He had conquered other mighty nations before attacking Jerusalem. But he got so proud and cocky that he started blaspheming God. Isaiah 37:7-9 is God's reply to Rab-shakeh: "...he shall hear a rumor, and return to his own land; and I will cause him to fall by the sword in his own land. So Rab-shakeh returned, and found the king of Assyria warring against Libnah: for he had heard that he was departed from Lachish. And he heard say concerning Tirhakah king of Ethiopia, He is come forth to make war with you...." -- God sent Rab-shakeh back to his own country and killed him. And He used a rumor about Tirhakah, king of Ethiopia, to get Rab-shakeh back there.1

MILLION-MAN ARMY

Of the nations that Israel went to war against in her history, Ethiopia had the largest army. Its size is mentioned in 2Ch 14:9 "And there came out against them Zerah the Ethiopian with a host of a thousand thousand, and three hundred chariots; and came unto Mareshah." A thousand thousand is a million. Zerah the Ethiopian led a 1 million man army, the largest numbered army that Israel ever fought. Zerah the Ethiopian went to war against Asa king of Judah, whose army was much smaller. Without God on their side, any army of any size can be defeated. 2Chronicles 14:10-12 continues "Then Asa went out against him, and they set the battle in array in the valley of Zephathah at Mareshah. And Asa cried to the LORD his God, and said, LORD, it is nothing with thee to help, whether with many, or with them that have no power: help us, O LORD our God; for we rest on thee, and in thy name we go against this multitude. O LORD, thou [art] our God; let not man prevail against thee. So the LORD smote the Ethiopians before Asa, and before Judah; and the Ethiopians fled."

PHILIP & THE ETHIOPIAN EUNUCH

Another Ethiopian (the Ethiopian Eunuch) is mentioned in Acts chapter 8. We know he had traveled over 1,000 miles, from Ethiopia to Jerusalem, to worship God (Acts 8:27). It would be hard to believe any man would travel that far across the desert by chariot, but he did.In Acts 8:28, we find him "reading Isaiah the prophet" as he traveled. When Philip drew near the chariot he asked the Ethiopian if he understood what he was reading. He replied, "How can I, unless someone guides me?" (Acts 8:31). After this, Philip got up into the chariot and "preached Jesus to him" (Acts 8:35). In the course of preaching Jesus, Philip spoke of water baptism. We know this because the Ethiopian said, "See, here is water. What hinders me from being baptized?" (Acts 8:36). Philip responded "If you believe with all your heart you may" (Acts 9:37). The man then confessed, "I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God." His confession was an acknowledgment of the Lordship of Christ. After his confession, "he commanded the chariot to stand still. And both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water, and he baptized him" (Acts 8:38).

For my girl(s), and all the girls out there still...

2009-09-29T09:53:00.000-07:00

This really got me thinking. On their website: http://www.girleffect.org/#/splash/, there is a document you can download, if you click on the line that reads:

BIG ISSUES NEED BIG SUPPORTERS INTERESTED? DOWNLOAD YOUR MOVE

It is a long document, but GOOD. Don't print it, just read it. It has all kinds of ideas on how to make a difference. As I desiminate the contents and look into some of the ideas, I will post more here.

For now, it's a start to raise awareness, my awareness, and to realize again, what a blessing to make a difference in my girls...and then to ponder how to move that effect beyond just them.

Happy Birthday, Mame

2009-09-17T14:55:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday, Mame........ {again} !

I hope you had a special blessing today. Did you even know it was your birthday?

We are still waiting for you...... don't give up on us.

Don't Give Up..

2009-09-07T00:35:00.000-07:00

2009-09-04T10:40:00.001-07:00

(RED) NIghts - Lisa Hannigan

2009-09-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

I know (hope) by now most everyone has heard of the (RED) Campaign, where part of your purchase price on products goes to buying anti-virus meds for Africa, but have you head of (RED) Nights? These are artists who have dedicate the proceeds from a particular concert to go to the same cause. The post above is Lisa Hannigan.

I wish there were some (RED) Nights Concerts in my area and that more artists would do this. Wouldn't it be cool of some Christian artists would join in this effort, like Casting Crowns, Mercy me, Michael W Smith....cross that line and join in...

Maybe I will drop them a lone and suggest it. What about you?

Words and Prayers....

2009-08-30T15:58:00.001-07:00

A momma just returning from Ethiopia, bringing home her children, shared this about Mame:

Sandee
Just wanted to tell u what a special girl you have in Mame. She has such a presence about her. My husband fell in love with both she and El-shaday. She is VERY VERY pretty and her smile will melt your heart. You are one lucky mom!

Now if I could just get her home! And dear Kat, asked folks to pray for Mame on her blog. Thank you. I'm off to Snapfish to see if there are new pictures of Olivia Mame....

Is this the hardest thing I'll ever do?

2009-08-28T12:04:00.000-07:00

I don't think so. I am sure it is not. But it feels hard today.

To keep believing, keep hoping, keep waiting, keep being in the dark.

I get grumpy over it.

See I don't trust. I don't trust that anyone is doing anything or really cares, or can do anything or is even giving my case a second thought...

or if they do, it is, yea that one...and move the file aside. Because it is hard.

So I sometimes think, why not just stop it. Say you are done, ask for all your money back. Go adopt an easier case? Be done, move on with your life. Let them figure it out some day, and then someone else will be able to adopt her.

Sounds cold huh? It is cold. But see our relationship is only a couple photos and a few gift bags, right?

And 18 months of praying and thinking and talking and waiting and hoping and emotional investing and ...

How can it be, that this one, this girl, Mame, is the one when we have never met? Why not someone else?

I don't know. But she is. It's Mame, and its hard.

I do not trust man. Sorry, I have heard too many sad, sad stories, gotten too much bad news, conflicting news and changing stories, to trust man.

So do I trust God? YES! I do. Without a second's thought. But the challenge is not in trusting God, it is in knowing what God will do. for reason's beyond my knowing God moves and does and doesn't do things that seem to logical thought something that He would do. (or wouldn't).

So, although I know God is with me. I know God has been along this journey each step and that nothing surprizes him in the least, I don't know what He knows and has planned on the outcome. He may have the hardest day ahead of me yet. I do not know.

But I have never seen: just quit, give up, walk around crabby, be despressed, as a choice on His path.

So I go in, hand poised to turn the calendar from August to September (again), not waiting on a court date, not waiting on the rains to stop (am I?), not waiting on the courts to reopen, but waiting on I don't know what and waiting on God to reveal what's next.

And a little girl, Mame, still has a home and a momma and a little sister and two big brothers and a Nanny and a Papa and a sometimes naughty puppy all waiting for her. Still.

Praying for an 8 year old.

2009-08-26T21:47:00.000-07:00

My heart goes out to Linny and her family, as they have waited 18 months for dear Jubilee and now have crushing news. Nothing is impossible for our God.

Will you join in prayer with them?

a blessing

2009-08-24T12:15:00.000-07:00

to wake up each day and pray for you

to bring your name before God each night

to talk to Jesus about you,

he who has walked beside you all day, when I cannot

that is a blessing.

Favor, hope and protection to you today, dear Mame, blessings.

amen

I love Linny's heart for God!

2009-08-21T13:07:00.001-07:00

Be free, be free.....I just love what Linny posted today on her blog about adopting.

YOU MUST READ IT! here

She is speaking the heart of God. Be free and pursue it!

Yes Lord. Yes! Send me~

Nothing to say.....

2009-08-20T15:25:00.000-07:00

So why post? I don't know. I am tired of that old post sitting there. Nothing new. No progress or if there is progress, no communication of it....so I doubt no progress.

I have been getting a lot of new pictures of her. She looks so much bigger, grown up. Her 8th birthday is less than a month away. Her second birthday spent in the orphanage, waiting....

(wow. I sound like I am whining).

Ok...I will add a pretty picture to look at and shutup.

Close to my Heart....

2009-08-08T09:47:00.000-07:00

I have to show you this really cute necklace that Heather, who has an Etsy.com shop, Found and Made, is making for me!! I found out about her when reading a blog I follow by Emily (Life is Beautiful) and her sharing about a necklace Heather made her. So I found Heather's shop on Etsy and saw these darling scrabble charms she makes... It has a map on one side and a scrabble letter on the other. So first she made one with a map of Ethiopia that shows Addis Ababa and on the back the letter M for Mame. Then I had her make one with Qing Dao City China on one side and Q ( for my little princess Qing Qing aka Mary Beth) on the other...and then I thought, well I need to include the boys...so next came Folsom, Ca and T for Tadpole and Sacramento, CA and N for Nickerbocker.

How totally cute is that??!!!! She showed me two different ways she could string on a chain with beads or on a cord..... I love them both, especially the colors of the beads, but I think I will be able to wear the brown with more things.

They are darling, no? She can make you one too!! She will only do custom orders through Sept, then she is getting ready for Christmas.

So so cute, and she is nice. So I will be carrying my four loves around my neck, close to my heart.

I read about a dear sweet momma to be, who lost her referral today, because the relative that relinquished her son-to-be, could not be found. So said. and it scares me about Mame. But I know I am trusting in God and not man. I just want Mame to have a hope and a future and not live her life in an orphanage. Holding on and praying. This will be my prayer necklace...I will hold each tile and pray for that child.

Bittersweet...

2009-08-05T10:43:00.001-07:00

Update: Today C (who is a momma over there right now) told me: "Mame said thanks for the gifts she loves you and when are you coming.?" My heart aches! Lord, when AM I coming????

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My heart longs for her....

Reports from two mommies recently in Ethiopia who visited with Mame:

"Sandee, Mame is very shy at first, but I showed {her} how to play some hand games, like Slide, and she laughed so hard and had so much fun. She is so mature...when I met {my daughter} she was coaching her through the process and telling her what to say and do, it brought tears to my eyes because she surely is the big sister there to all the little girls."

"Unfortunately the English speaker was not there when we left the package. She, Mame, appeared confused at first when I handed her the package but then I said America Momma and she lit up... Mame is very animated and extremely graceful. She is such a stunning girl. She seemed to be very at ease with herself and around other people and she really liked the pez candy dispenser once I showed her how it worked."

I got to see a video of her getting her package from us and opening it...and one of the mom's told me she looks like she is 6 or 7, no older than 8. Which is perfect, as her paperwork says she will turn 8 next month.

I carry an ache/fear....that the guardian relinquishment issue/paperwork will never be resolved and my daughter will live her life in an orphanage. Surely not! Please pray with me.

Pink Palms, Black Paws.....

2009-07-30T13:38:00.000-07:00

In the wait...

Last night the kids and I made a sign/banner for Mame. We each used colored stamping pads to put our handprints around the words, "We love you, Mame". I used red, which, even after a bath, has left my hands blushing pink. Even our Morkie, Bella, had her paws stamped black, and added pawprints to the sign. Then each family member signed their name next to their handprints. (Except Bella, of course, I signed for her.)

We plan to take a picture of all of us holding it, then send the picture and sign off to Mame with one of the families traveling to the orphanage.

We are focusing on what will be, on our heart connection, and not on the delays.

Way up in North Ethiopia....

2009-07-27T11:49:00.000-07:00

Someone asks: "What's the news with Olivia? (Mame)"

Today I answer: "Not good news"

She is too old to be processed in the Addis Ababa courts as abandoned. (No one 8 years old or older will be processed as abandoned. How sad for children who are abandoned at that age.)

The uncle who relinquished her in Addis, is no where to be found after 8 months of waiting).

Her village, is way up North, closest city is Gondar. It cannot be reached during the rainy season. (Ends perhaps sometime in October).

The attorney left instructions and fees with someone (???) somewhere (???) to try to get the paperwork complete.

The local courts?? government?? police?? not sure, from Mame's village, area will need to verify that she is relinquished with a piece of paper... I think. I am so unclear. I don't know if an existing family member has to be found in her village, or if the local authorities have to attempt that, and then declare her abandoned, and since she is abandoned in her village and not Addis, then it is ok. I don't know.

What I do know is not to expect anything any time soon. And I highly doubt in 2009, but that may be my "upsetness" speaking.

I may wait a couple days and try to ask again, to understand. All I know is the attorney's trip did not get her the paper she desired. We cannot move forward at this time, and the rainy season is impacting it as well.

It is funny, odd funny, interesting funny, not ha ha funny. You can get so attached to a little girl, through pictures and written anecdotes, that she is YOURS in your heart. There is no way, even after 16 months of waiting, that you can just stop and walk away. I know some folks looking in might say, why not just go adopt someone else, who is ready (paperwise)....

But Mame is my daughter....my children's sister....And I do not like the delays, (she doesn't either.. I was told today, she even asks the attorney at Hope, what is happening with her case)... but they are what they are...to be endured.

And God knows this. I do not know the right timing, but He does. So I live with more delays.

That is what is happening with Mame.

(This photo was taken by a traveler in Simien National Park, right next to Gonder in the Amhara region, where Mame is from).

Pray, pray , pray, pray, pray, pray......

2009-07-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes things just happen the hard way. So I am asking you to pray with me to pull this thing on through!

I got word today from my adoption agency, that the attorney in Addis Ababa, who handles all our court cases and paper work, is on this very day in the Mame's region of the country (birth region) trying to get her paperwork finished. That it is a 2 or 3 day trip from Addis, and she should be back Friday night or Saturday morning!

Pray her favor and smooth sailing....and blessings to boot. I am sure her hands are so full, and taking a few days out to handle Mame's case is so loving of her. Favor and blessing, oh Lord, favor and blessing!

Have a cup of coffee in the valley...

2009-07-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

Between the peaks of getting a referral and having all my paperwork complete, and the mini-peaks for various court date expectancies, and sitting open at court, and...

between all those peaks.....are valleys. And from a birds eye view, I might see the true perspective of one long valley from last July until..some future date when I pass court.

So come have a cup of Java with me in this valley.

I just found out news today, that the ban on abandonment cases being lifted, was not what I was truly waiting for. That Mame still needs some paperwork from the local authorities in the region where she was born. This particular paperwork quest was started in February...three month before the ban was imposed. Next week, the lawyer at Hope in Ethiopia is going to Mame's city of origin to try to get the paper work complete. (bless her with favor Lord, and bless her for caring enough for this ONE case, one little girl, out of so many, to take the time.)

So, I know my wait will be longer than I was not expecting. (Odd phrase..I should have been expecting shorter, but really don't expect anything any more, other than one day it will happen. )

So in this long valley...the changing of my mood/perspective has changed the view of this valley. It has offered time for growth (spiritual emotional) to my family here, waiting. Being far better adjusted now to take on a new family member, than back in Nov 2008, and still seeing how we need to grow. Better school-wise. (three of the four will be at the same school now, rather than three different schools).... Better health-wise (will have some surgeries out of the way, that could have been hard on Mame to be with momma, then have momma be in the hospital)....and even a time of being "family alone" as our au pair leaves in August and it will be just me and the kids for awhile. My kids have taken on chores and are helping around the house now. My eyes have been opened to the comsummer bug, and we are eradicating him form our life as much as possible..... so many good things in this valley.

And now, knowing the valley will again be longer, and the travel money being gobbled up by two major car repairs, school uniforms, and other unexpected budget biters,....I have more time to re-save the money which will bring Olivia Mame home.

The wear and tear on my heart in the valley is less now. My heart is not so frenzied, my emotions not so raw.

I cannot truly understand Mame's heart in all this. I know it is hard seeing other kids go. Even though they are going to an unknown...a dream. Sometimes the loss or delay of the dream is far more painful than the reality. So I know this valley has been extremely long for her. On the other hand, she does not know us, the reality of us, just the thought and photo of us. No way to comprehend WHY it has been 16 months of waiting, no realization that it HAS been that long, for her I am sure. I pray for God to give her hope, joy and comfort...and to prepare her heart for transition...some day.

So when folks ask me, I tell you...I do not know. I am hoping Mame will be home in 2009, my mind thinks, SURELY she will. But I do not know.

Good news from a distant land...

2009-07-07T08:18:00.000-07:00

"Like cold water to a weary soul is good news from a distant land." Prov 25:25

Good news today from Ethiopia. Our agency said they just got word that the courts did take all the abandonment cases today, and will be issuing court dates for them soon. That it is possible that the courts may start hearing abandonment cases as early as this Thursday!!!

Can you believe it?

Rains down in Africa

2009-07-06T12:49:00.000-07:00

NO news....

2009-06-23T15:54:00.001-07:00

So here is our "no news". Not from our agency, but from another agency. They stated the decision announcement on the abandonment cases (and hold) is not being shared today, as we all thought, but on July 2nd.

So that is our no news.... Hoping on that date they do not just announce their decision/outcome, but also the plan for all the backlog of cases.

More time to wait for news. ....

BEST case scenerio right now (ie impossible to happen), would be travel at the third or fourth week in August. I think it will be more like Sept.

Longing for my little girl!

2009-06-15T12:32:00.001-07:00

be missing my girl...even though we have never met! I have heard things about her these past couple weeks, little peeks into her personality and I am SOOOOOO ready to bring her home. It has been about 15 months, since I sent her the first (and only ) photo album of her American family, so I made a new one this weekend. The other was just snapshots in a little 4 x 6 photo folder you can buy at target. I decided to dess it up a bit this time. SO I made her a little scrapbook photo album. My thumb is over the first picture, which is her, because I cannot show you her picture, but you can see the rest. Each page has a tab with a letter on it. M A M E...spells Mame, (mauh - may). And I am sending with the next families traveling in July!
We miss you Mame! Soon, I hope, soon!

The Tabs Front Cover

Back Cover

2009-06-10T12:32:00.001-07:00

My family...someday it will be....

2009-06-08T15:25:00.001-07:00

I got to talk to another momma today who just returned from spending many days at Mame's orphanage, with her own two children and my Mame. I loved hearing all about the details.... Meals, school, clothes, etc.

I still do not know when some new action will happen, or I will pass court, BUT I am still expectantly hopeful...

She longs to come to America...as I long to come bring her home.

News from afar.....

2009-05-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

I got some precious news...from Diann, a momma just returning from Ethiopia...who visited with Mame:

I know you will be getting lots of updates, but I wanted to tell you of my experience with your BEAUTIFUL daughter, Olivia Mame.

I hope that this brings you comfort and joy and please know that I continue to pray your time to travel will come soon. She is going to be a magnificent addition to your family.

This little lady just captures your heart in the first moment that you meet her. She has a sweet, gentle spirit about her and is very much the mother and caretaker of the kids. She is SMART! The kids all said their ABC's, counted to 40 (when I stopped them), said their days of the week, months of the year and all their body parts. And if my Bizunesh is any indication, she will know a lot more English than she will let on at first. (That has been a hoot!)

Mame is very affectionate and explained through a gentleman there that she thinks of you often. After receiving your package, she was adamant that he translate a letter to be sent to you. I want to mail this letter to you, but I also wanted to send the contents via e-mail so you would have it sooner!

Hello Mom. I love you mom and all the family. I am eager to see all my American family. I missed you and again I love you. Thank you for the present.

He also told me that she kept telling him to tell you I love you and Thank you. But that he only wrote it once in the letter. She loved her hat and shirt, although I would go a size larger on the shirt. She really is beauty. What a gift from above.

__________________________________________________

Isn't that the most precious thing!!? Hang on dear Mame.....I will get there as soon as I can!

Moodshifting: dresses and smiles....

2009-05-18T16:31:00.000-07:00

I can feel my mood shifting. From one of irritation, dismay, to one of expectancy and excitement.

Nothing on the news landscape has changed...but my mind has moved from "WHEN??!" and "What now!"....to, oh Olivia will look cute in that, and oh this will be so fun for Olivia and Mary to do together...

I see little girls Olivia's age with their little summer dresses and leggings, and it takes all my might not to go shopping! lol.

I have moved to thinking, "soon. It will be soon." Knowing soon is a relative term. But no more dispair! Prayers of friends and family must be working.

A little insight from another mother made me smile today. She said her two daughters in Ethiopia, that she is in the process of bringing home this week, moved to their English names within two days. She said they "love their English names!".

So...that was thrilling to know. I have heard from others too, that the older children really look forward to their English names. :) So Olivia.....I hope you will love your name.....

Happy hearted waiting.

PS...and that cute dress above is from Garnet Hill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PSS. I got an update from Kathleen, who is in Ethiopia right now....on Olivia Mame. She said she is in a happier mood today. She said:

She is 68 pounds
54 1/4 inches tall
size 10/12 would be much better!!!
Her hat fit.
She was so much happier today to see us and she felt much better with her package!!!!!

Update...

2009-05-15T15:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I wasn't going to talk about it, but since I have two updates....I guess I will. The first is that Ethiopian Adoptions regarding abandoned children are temporarily on hold. Some agencies are being investigated. I understand our agency is already in the clear, but all are being held up until the investigations are over. I have no clue how long this dealy will be.

On a bittersweet note, I heard from Kathleen, who is bringing home her two daughters and is in Ethiopia this week. Her older daughter is Mame's bunk mate. This is part of what she wrote, talking about her daughter and then Mame:

She ran off and got Mame. Mame was very sad. ...Mame and Kalkidan (Laura Faith) share the same bed, school and Mame does K and D's hair and gets her things daily. Mom kept insisting that the driver translate that Mame and Wubitu and Henery kids parents are hoping they get out soon.

Mame hung out the whole time 9 am until 115pm with us. Wubitu left to play with others.
Mame is the one that takes good care of our girls. She took it extremely hard that K was leaving. I had to really coax a smile. The water bottle and coffee ceremoney cheered Mame up.

All the kids were preparing notes and letters for K and D..Mame did not as she was with us.
Mame read the letters and they all laughed. one boy said it was good for k but bad for him as he will miss her so much. the kids were all giggles.

Ahhh.....pray for my little girl, as she lost her best friend this week! Pray that things will clear up quickly and I will get to bring her home quickly!

2009-05-09T20:59:00.000-07:00

Drawn from Water from Drawn From Water on Vimeo.

Wait and Pray

2009-05-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

I know God is working so I just wait and pray!!

(encouraging words..from Joanie Rubash)

Rrrrring.....in Jazzy tones.

2009-05-06T10:45:00.001-07:00

I have this new Jazzy Tone as my ringer on my cell. It is so mellow and "cool", that often it does not sink in that my cell phone is ringing.

I was in a meeting this am, just got out of it and in the middle my cell phone started playing.

I thought, this is it, this is it...in the middle of this meeting today, I am going to find out that Mame is mine!

I hardly ever get phone calls at work in the am on my phone. My calls are either my mom, kids or our au pair and they normally happen in the afternoon or evening. SO a ring is something special!

I scramble for my purse....thinking how to do keep facilitating this meeting and handle my phone call....I find the phone, look at the screen to see if it is that non-memorized phone number from Grace......

It was not. :(

I was just so sure today would be the day. This is the week I NEED it to be, for all my summer plans. This is the week that Wednesday are the open case days. I have been an open case (not basket case, open case :) ) for 68 days now. Can't imagine there are ones open longer...... But they probably are. Plus I doubt if they are going on a first in first out bases. Who knows if my paperwork is even done. I am clueless...

But in the words of Joanie Rubash, on another matter on my heart:

I know God is working so I just wait and pray!!

Amen....and listen for that Jazzy tone on my cellphone.

Some hopeful news....

2009-05-03T14:54:00.000-07:00

I got some hopeful news today, from the office manager, (I think that is her title) from our agency. She said, regarding the cases that are sitting open at court:

"Due to the huge amount of open cases the courts have right now, they aredesignating Wednesday as open case day. They will hear open cases part of the day Wednesdays until they are through them all.This doesn't mean this upcoming Wednesday they will hear all, obviously, we have at least 15 open cases right now and every other agency has as many so it will take some time to get to all of us. At least they recognize the problem and have come up with a plan!"

I know the chances of us being in the first batch is slim, and I don't know if they go be who has been waiting the longest, I kind of doubt it....but wouldn't if be glorious if THIS Wednesday we actually passed court??!!!!

This Sunday, my three little ones and I went back for prayer during the service...and our prayer with the pastor, was that Mame would pass court so we can take the next step to bring her home.

Keep praying with us please..... Also pray for Wubitu and Henery....Mame's best friend. They have court tomorrow Monday. Pray we hear awesome news!

A call to prayer...

2009-04-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

There is patience and there is also prayer. Please help me pray Mame through the courts.

Our battle is not against flesh and blood but against rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

2 Corinthians 10:4For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;

If you are a praying person, please, truly, join with me in prayer to bring her home.... I would love for you to post a prayer her in the comments section. If you pray the word, please pray it on her behalf.

Matthew 18:19"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.Matthew 18:18-20

James 5:16The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Abba,

You are an awesome God, powerful and loving. And you DO reign over all courts, powers, people and things. I ask for your powerful hand to reach out on Mame's behalf. Stop any work of our enemy, and open the doors to move her case to resolution. I pray you will protect her body, heart, and soul and you will bring a favorable decision now. You are our compassionate Father and ruling King. You love the orphan and you put the lonely in families. Now is the time Abba, I am pleading, now is the time. I am asking you move in such a way that your glory will spread around your works. Bring Mame home....and bring Wubitu and Henery home too. I ask the same for them, a favorable result on Monday.

By the love and sacrifice of Jesus, who purchased the price for us to plead boldly at the foot of your throne. We love you. We need you. Amen.

Melissa refreshed my perspective.....

2009-04-30T12:04:00.000-07:00

I am done whining. :)

I needed a perspective adjustment, and Melissa was just the person to give it to me!

Melissa's Blog

Thank you Lord~

The substance of waiting.....

2009-04-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

It is so hard to wait, isn't it? Even harder when you do not know how long the wait is and where your progress is along that "wait line".

I load a program on my computer, or surf off to a website and I get little blue or green lines showing my progress. The only reason these show up it for MY benefit to feel like progress is being made and the wait will soon be over.

My adoption experience this time around, is not like this. I do not remember a wait like this for anything else in my life. Ever. Even my last adoption, take two years, I did not have a wait like this. Each time a had a milestone up ahead with a date and timeframe tied to it and it happened when it was scheduled to happen. My biggest wait was waiting the two months for approval from China...but they said it would take two months and it did!! It took two months.

I am finding myself becoming ..... what? cynical? or maybe more skeptical. Where cynical doubts motives, skeptical suspends judgement due to doubt.

I don't doubt motives. I believe the motives are good. I am becoming a skeptic. I am suspending not just judgement, but joy.

Someone announces a court date and is happy. I keep quiet. :( My skeptic mind thinks, that doesn't mean anything. You could have 7 court dates and be no closer. (Yea, I know, ugly, huh? Or you could have one and breeze through.) I scoff internally as someone plans a potential date to travel, when they don't even have a court date yet.

I HATE that about myself. SO I keep quiet. I have quit talking about it. Quit talking about adoption, or my daughter or the process. Quit asking about how my case is going.... (trying hard, I ask about every two weeks now...but even that is dwindling). Quit probing for information.

Quit planning on this summer and trying to losely sketch in plans.... and that part makes me cry.

And all that resounds in my mind and heart is WHY??!!!! Why can't someone take the 20 minutes to look in my file tell me where along the route this illusive piece of paper is and let me know? Why must this case get bounced out of court three times and just hang here? Why Mame? Why is this one the one sitting open at court going on 61 days now?

See why I don't talk? She why I try to just ignore that I am in the middle of this process?

And what is so odd about all this.... is I do trust in God. I do know He knows. I do know He has plans. I do know He says "Wait on me", and I do know He has reasons I will never fathom and even some reasons I can get a peek at.

I know that. And many days, most days, that trust and faith is the substance of my waiting.... and I am ok.

And then, some days, like today, I rail against my blank waiting line....and feel the edges of my soul get grouchy. On those days, He loves me just the same, He loves Mame just the same, His plan is still unfolding....and maybe, He hugs me a little tighter.

Like Hannah, I am praying from my heart for my child. I do not want to get bitterness of soul. Lord, keep me from it.

Sitting Open...

2009-04-23T16:43:00.000-07:00

Open: 1: having no enclosing or confining barrier : accessible on all or nearly all sides 2 a (1): being in a position or adjustment to permit passage : not shut or locked (2): having a barrier so adjusted as to allow passage b: having the lips parted c: not buttoned or zipped

Court: conduct or attention intended to win favor

No news.... I am still sitting "open at court"

No barrier, win favor, permit passage, mouth wide open!!! Say YES! Tomorrow would be the right day to say YES!

Curly Q

2009-04-14T13:57:00.001-07:00

I got a picture today, from another returning mommy... I just love Mame's lovely, curly hair!

Can't show you her, but here is part of her hair!