Longing for my little girl!

be missing my girl...even though we have never met! I have heard things about her these past couple weeks, little peeks into her personality and I am SOOOOOO ready to bring her home. It has been about 15 months, since I sent her the first (and only ) photo album of her American family, so I made a new one this weekend. The other was just snapshots in a little 4 x 6 photo folder you can buy at target. I decided to dess it up a bit this time. SO I made her a little scrapbook photo album. My thumb is over the first picture, which is her, because I cannot show you her picture, but you can see the rest. Each page has a tab with a letter on it. M A M E...spells Mame, (mauh - may). And I am sending with the next families traveling in July!
We miss you Mame! Soon, I hope, soon!

The Tabs Front Cover

Back Cover

My family...someday it will be....

I got to talk to another momma today who just returned from spending many days at Mame's orphanage, with her own two children and my Mame. I loved hearing all about the details.... Meals, school, clothes, etc.

I still do not know when some new action will happen, or I will pass court, BUT I am still expectantly hopeful...

She longs to come to America...as I long to come bring her home.

News from afar.....

I got some precious news...from Diann, a momma just returning from Ethiopia...who visited with Mame:

I know you will be getting lots of updates, but I wanted to tell you of my experience with your BEAUTIFUL daughter, Olivia Mame.

I hope that this brings you comfort and joy and please know that I continue to pray your time to travel will come soon. She is going to be a magnificent addition to your family.

This little lady just captures your heart in the first moment that you meet her. She has a sweet, gentle spirit about her and is very much the mother and caretaker of the kids. She is SMART! The kids all said their ABC's, counted to 40 (when I stopped them), said their days of the week, months of the year and all their body parts. And if my Bizunesh is any indication, she will know a lot more English than she will let on at first. (That has been a hoot!)

Mame is very affectionate and explained through a gentleman there that she thinks of you often. After receiving your package, she was adamant that he translate a letter to be sent to you. I want to mail this letter to you, but I also wanted to send the contents via e-mail so you would have it sooner!

Hello Mom. I love you mom and all the family. I am eager to see all my American family. I missed you and again I love you. Thank you for the present.

He also told me that she kept telling him to tell you I love you and Thank you. But that he only wrote it once in the letter. She loved her hat and shirt, although I would go a size larger on the shirt. She really is beauty. What a gift from above.

__________________________________________________

Isn't that the most precious thing!!? Hang on dear Mame.....I will get there as soon as I can!

Moodshifting: dresses and smiles....

I can feel my mood shifting. From one of irritation, dismay, to one of expectancy and excitement.

Nothing on the news landscape has changed...but my mind has moved from "WHEN??!" and "What now!"....to, oh Olivia will look cute in that, and oh this will be so fun for Olivia and Mary to do together...

I see little girls Olivia's age with their little summer dresses and leggings, and it takes all my might not to go shopping! lol.

I have moved to thinking, "soon. It will be soon." Knowing soon is a relative term. But no more dispair! Prayers of friends and family must be working.

A little insight from another mother made me smile today. She said her two daughters in Ethiopia, that she is in the process of bringing home this week, moved to their English names within two days. She said they "love their English names!".

So...that was thrilling to know. I have heard from others too, that the older children really look forward to their English names. :) So Olivia.....I hope you will love your name.....

Happy hearted waiting.

PS...and that cute dress above is from Garnet Hill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PSS. I got an update from Kathleen, who is in Ethiopia right now....on Olivia Mame. She said she is in a happier mood today. She said:

She is 68 pounds
54 1/4 inches tall
size 10/12 would be much better!!!
Her hat fit.
She was so much happier today to see us and she felt much better with her package!!!!!

Update...

Well, I wasn't going to talk about it, but since I have two updates....I guess I will. The first is that Ethiopian Adoptions regarding abandoned children are temporarily on hold. Some agencies are being investigated. I understand our agency is already in the clear, but all are being held up until the investigations are over. I have no clue how long this dealy will be.

On a bittersweet note, I heard from Kathleen, who is bringing home her two daughters and is in Ethiopia this week. Her older daughter is Mame's bunk mate. This is part of what she wrote, talking about her daughter and then Mame:

She ran off and got Mame. Mame was very sad. ...Mame and Kalkidan (Laura Faith) share the same bed, school and Mame does K and D's hair and gets her things daily. Mom kept insisting that the driver translate that Mame and Wubitu and Henery kids parents are hoping they get out soon.

Mame hung out the whole time 9 am until 115pm with us. Wubitu left to play with others.
Mame is the one that takes good care of our girls. She took it extremely hard that K was leaving. I had to really coax a smile. The water bottle and coffee ceremoney cheered Mame up.

All the kids were preparing notes and letters for K and D..Mame did not as she was with us.
Mame read the letters and they all laughed. one boy said it was good for k but bad for him as he will miss her so much. the kids were all giggles.

Ahhh.....pray for my little girl, as she lost her best friend this week! Pray that things will clear up quickly and I will get to bring her home quickly!

Drawn from Water from Drawn From Water on Vimeo.

Wait and Pray

I know God is working so I just wait and pray!!

(encouraging words..from Joanie Rubash)

Rrrrring.....in Jazzy tones.

I have this new Jazzy Tone as my ringer on my cell. It is so mellow and "cool", that often it does not sink in that my cell phone is ringing.

I was in a meeting this am, just got out of it and in the middle my cell phone started playing.

I thought, this is it, this is it...in the middle of this meeting today, I am going to find out that Mame is mine!

I hardly ever get phone calls at work in the am on my phone. My calls are either my mom, kids or our au pair and they normally happen in the afternoon or evening. SO a ring is something special!

I scramble for my purse....thinking how to do keep facilitating this meeting and handle my phone call....I find the phone, look at the screen to see if it is that non-memorized phone number from Grace......

It was not. :(

I was just so sure today would be the day. This is the week I NEED it to be, for all my summer plans. This is the week that Wednesday are the open case days. I have been an open case (not basket case, open case :) ) for 68 days now. Can't imagine there are ones open longer...... But they probably are. Plus I doubt if they are going on a first in first out bases. Who knows if my paperwork is even done. I am clueless...

But in the words of Joanie Rubash, on another matter on my heart:

I know God is working so I just wait and pray!!

Amen....and listen for that Jazzy tone on my cellphone.

Some hopeful news....

I got some hopeful news today, from the office manager, (I think that is her title) from our agency. She said, regarding the cases that are sitting open at court:

"Due to the huge amount of open cases the courts have right now, they aredesignating Wednesday as open case day. They will hear open cases part of the day Wednesdays until they are through them all.This doesn't mean this upcoming Wednesday they will hear all, obviously, we have at least 15 open cases right now and every other agency has as many so it will take some time to get to all of us. At least they recognize the problem and have come up with a plan!"

I know the chances of us being in the first batch is slim, and I don't know if they go be who has been waiting the longest, I kind of doubt it....but wouldn't if be glorious if THIS Wednesday we actually passed court??!!!!

This Sunday, my three little ones and I went back for prayer during the service...and our prayer with the pastor, was that Mame would pass court so we can take the next step to bring her home.

Keep praying with us please..... Also pray for Wubitu and Henery....Mame's best friend. They have court tomorrow Monday. Pray we hear awesome news!

A call to prayer...

There is patience and there is also prayer. Please help me pray Mame through the courts.

Our battle is not against flesh and blood but against rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

2 Corinthians 10:4For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;

If you are a praying person, please, truly, join with me in prayer to bring her home.... I would love for you to post a prayer her in the comments section. If you pray the word, please pray it on her behalf.

Matthew 18:19"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.Matthew 18:18-20

James 5:16The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Abba,

You are an awesome God, powerful and loving. And you DO reign over all courts, powers, people and things. I ask for your powerful hand to reach out on Mame's behalf. Stop any work of our enemy, and open the doors to move her case to resolution. I pray you will protect her body, heart, and soul and you will bring a favorable decision now. You are our compassionate Father and ruling King. You love the orphan and you put the lonely in families. Now is the time Abba, I am pleading, now is the time. I am asking you move in such a way that your glory will spread around your works. Bring Mame home....and bring Wubitu and Henery home too. I ask the same for them, a favorable result on Monday.

By the love and sacrifice of Jesus, who purchased the price for us to plead boldly at the foot of your throne. We love you. We need you. Amen.

Melissa refreshed my perspective.....

I am done whining. :)

I needed a perspective adjustment, and Melissa was just the person to give it to me!

Melissa's Blog

Thank you Lord~

The substance of waiting.....

It is so hard to wait, isn't it? Even harder when you do not know how long the wait is and where your progress is along that "wait line".

I load a program on my computer, or surf off to a website and I get little blue or green lines showing my progress. The only reason these show up it for MY benefit to feel like progress is being made and the wait will soon be over.

My adoption experience this time around, is not like this. I do not remember a wait like this for anything else in my life. Ever. Even my last adoption, take two years, I did not have a wait like this. Each time a had a milestone up ahead with a date and timeframe tied to it and it happened when it was scheduled to happen. My biggest wait was waiting the two months for approval from China...but they said it would take two months and it did!! It took two months.

I am finding myself becoming ..... what? cynical? or maybe more skeptical. Where cynical doubts motives, skeptical suspends judgement due to doubt.

I don't doubt motives. I believe the motives are good. I am becoming a skeptic. I am suspending not just judgement, but joy.

Someone announces a court date and is happy. I keep quiet. :( My skeptic mind thinks, that doesn't mean anything. You could have 7 court dates and be no closer. (Yea, I know, ugly, huh? Or you could have one and breeze through.) I scoff internally as someone plans a potential date to travel, when they don't even have a court date yet.

I HATE that about myself. SO I keep quiet. I have quit talking about it. Quit talking about adoption, or my daughter or the process. Quit asking about how my case is going.... (trying hard, I ask about every two weeks now...but even that is dwindling). Quit probing for information.

Quit planning on this summer and trying to losely sketch in plans.... and that part makes me cry.

And all that resounds in my mind and heart is WHY??!!!! Why can't someone take the 20 minutes to look in my file tell me where along the route this illusive piece of paper is and let me know? Why must this case get bounced out of court three times and just hang here? Why Mame? Why is this one the one sitting open at court going on 61 days now?

See why I don't talk? She why I try to just ignore that I am in the middle of this process?

And what is so odd about all this.... is I do trust in God. I do know He knows. I do know He has plans. I do know He says "Wait on me", and I do know He has reasons I will never fathom and even some reasons I can get a peek at.

I know that. And many days, most days, that trust and faith is the substance of my waiting.... and I am ok.

And then, some days, like today, I rail against my blank waiting line....and feel the edges of my soul get grouchy. On those days, He loves me just the same, He loves Mame just the same, His plan is still unfolding....and maybe, He hugs me a little tighter.

Like Hannah, I am praying from my heart for my child. I do not want to get bitterness of soul. Lord, keep me from it.

Sitting Open...

Open: 1: having no enclosing or confining barrier : accessible on all or nearly all sides 2 a (1): being in a position or adjustment to permit passage : not shut or locked (2): having a barrier so adjusted as to allow passage b: having the lips parted c: not buttoned or zipped

Court: conduct or attention intended to win favor

No news.... I am still sitting "open at court"

No barrier, win favor, permit passage, mouth wide open!!! Say YES! Tomorrow would be the right day to say YES!

Curly Q

I got a picture today, from another returning mommy... I just love Mame's lovely, curly hair!

Can't show you her, but here is part of her hair!

Special....

Sitting with an open court date, when it feels like everyone else has a specific court date (and I know from experience, a specific court date does not have any more assurance of when you will pass court....since I have had three specific court dates) ...makes you special. :)

So, here are my thoughts on it, (as if you wanted them...lol!)

Since I have been sitting with an open court since Feb 26, here is what makes it special:) :

-I have some paperwork that needs to get done. If I did not have an open courtdate, then when the paperwork is finally done, I would have to wait anadditional 4 to 8 weeks for a court date....this way when it is done, I go to court that week.

-I get to deepen my trust and faith and hope in God and His timing and plan for our lives.

-I get to live spontaneously with all summer plans up in the air. (lol..notlikey this one so much).

-I get to resist buying all those cute little girl spring clothes, because Imight need summer clothes instead, or heaven forbid fall clothes, and I don'tknow what her size will be.

-I get to be in the silent background, when court dates are prayed over and expected with bated breath.

-I get to wonder what is going on a lot.

-I get to be totally surprized one day....

-I get to go through all these emotions and eat lots and lots of chocolate. (and that is really healthy for you...check here: http://www.girl.com.au/chocfullofacts.htm)

SO it is special...just not in the way I thought, like oh it is going to happen really really soon. :(

On the note of totally surprized one day....go see how Jacelyn was surprized TODAY! She has been sitting with an open court since Feb 26th, just like me....and her wait has been longer. http://jjandawilkinson.blogspot.com/2009/04/this-morning-i-was-laying-in-bed-trying.html

On the not of wondering what is going on a lot, here is the update from today:

"I found out today that MOWA has two of their staff members out for training lastcouple of weeks. They are short staffed, of course, and are not able toaccommodate any of the open cases until the staff members return. I don't know when they return."

When does waiting become forgetting......

Somedays.....I forget that I am waiting. :(

Untroubled and Undisturbed...

And the God of peace {wholeness, untroubled and undisturbed well-being} will be with you.

Phil 4:9b (Amplifed Version)

You are a hinding place for me...you surround me with songs and shouts of deliverance.

Psalm 32:7

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time {in due time} we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Gal 6:9

Dark night....

Yes....waiting in the dark is hard. Many days I am ok, and do fine....some days are harder though...and I finally break down and email or call, what's up.

I did that today...

And I have mixed feelings and am upset, but still why be upset, God is in control, even when it seems like it is all messed up. I have to trust Him.

I found out what I was told before is not true. :( I hate that. I hate mixed communication. I know with so many cases, it is hard, etc etc. But to me, it is us and this little girl and it is not so many, it is personal.

I found out that MOWA was NOT told to make an immediate recommendation on March 12th, like I was told they were. So all along I have been waiting on something that was not true and so confused on how an immediate recommendation could take 20 days! And why the other two families got their immediate recommendation and I did not. :(

I found out my lost file was found. Not sure when, guess that doesn't matter. I am still sitting open, pending.

I found out the same old issue is the issue that is holding me up. That they are trying to find the uncle that relinquished Olivia and I guess they have not been able to find him. That was the same issue back in January, on that court date. So they still are trying? Still can't find him.

I found out, at the same time that they are trying to locate him, they have filed paperwork to change her status to abandoned, since they cannot find him. And that paperwork can take ????? no one knows how long. They think shorter than a month, but no news on when it was actually filed or how long it actually takes.

So I am not sure if I really know anything? I guess I do. I know what it is not. And I know what they are doing.

So do I feel better?

Not really. I cried. Out of frustration, dissappointment, and just heart ache sadness.

I think I will stop eargerly checking my email every morning. And stop making this plan or that plan for the summer. The only reassurance I got was that they should be through before court closes. COURT CLOSES in AUGUST!!!!!!

Father, you know this...you know all this and more! Although I do not understand why, I do believe you are loving, and powerful and fully in charge. I have prayed and asked, so it is not I have not because I ask not. So there is some other reason that YOU KNOW the timing would be better later than sooner...so again I surrender my will. Not my will but yours.

Mail Your Red Envelope

I interrupt the regular adoptoin blogging, to bring this important message:

Join thousands of Americans in speaking up for the babies who are murdered by abortion.

Today is the day to pick up a pack of red envelopes at Office Depot (or anywhere else for that matter), address them to President Obama, attach your return address and a stamp, and mail them tomorrow (Tuesday, March 31st).

Each red envelope will represent a child whose life was taken through abortion. As red envelopes flood his mailbox, may President Obama come to his senses and miraculously have a change of heart concerning laws that can protect babies.

President Barack Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave. N.W.
Washington , D.C. 20500

Write this on the back:

This envelope represents one child who died in abortion.
It is empty because that life was unable to offer anything to the world.
Responsibility begins with conception.