Did not pass....

I did not pass court. MOWA, who has to show up with their approval form...did not show up. My next (5th) court date is April 22.

Two nights.....

Just two nights.....two more nights....until I know. ..... For the first time this afternoon, it started to hit me... that maybe, this time, maybe it will happen. All the waiting will be over and I will be a new momma.....

Could it be? Wish it was tomorrow night already....

Numbers and dates

fourth court date, four days away

six to 8 weeks (if I pass) to embassy date

possible embassy dates every other Thursday: May 6, 20, June 3, June 17, July 1 July

7 weeks would be June 3rd.... my Nicholas' 12th birthday!

When will it be? It seems too.....unreal and scary that I might, after two years, actually be making a trip to Ethiopia....

To be honest...I feel nothing right now. I know, if I pass, I will be in tears and estatic..... I know if I don't, I will continue feeling nothing..... But I don't feel nervous or weary, or hopeful....odd.

Now wait and talk to me Monday night! lol.

Counting down....

9 days until court.... I wonder if this will be the magic one...

It almost scares me....

Eeeek.... after waiting so long.

Those who read and pray....pray not just that we will pass court, but that the timing of the embassy appointment and logistics for my children staying at home will reveal themselves. At the minute I have no clue how that will work out....let alone be good for everyone.

But God does.

I have a date!

A court date, that is....for "Olivia" "Mame" Hiwot!

Yippeeeeee!!!!!

April 13th!

Maybe this fourth time is the charm! It will be a year and almost two months since our last (third) court date!!!


AND...I do not have to travel twice! What a blessing!!!!

What I found on the floor....

(N0, that is really not a picture of the floor of my car, or any floor in my house...hust a picture of papers on the floor, to illustrate a point...)

Junk mail and rapid schedules..... I get so much junk mail in my mailbox...those little newspaper flyers advertising this and that...and the mailbox is way down the lane, that I usually check it on my way driving in or out of our house....and then put it on the floor, to be dealt with later.

On Tuesdays I take the kids to a scouting program and the little boy, who is our new neighbor, goes with us. I had to give the van a good cleaning, putting back in extra seats since the move...so he would have room to sit. In the process, I saw this faded, flimsy little envelope with a forwarded mail label and barely visible stamped return address, underneath the Thomas Guide Map book and some junk mail newspaper ads.

Upon closer inspection, I noticed it was postmarked March 17, so not that old, and was from.....IMMIGRATION SERVICES??!!!!!!!

Quickly ripping it open, I thought, could this be my fretted over 171H..or a notice to get re-fingerprinted that I missed or ????. What if I had just grabbed it up with my junk mail and tossed it???!!!!

I had to read it twice and search the corner to find the form number and YES~ It was my new extended 171H sitting on the floor of my car for how many days???!!!!

EEEEEEEK..... sigh...but I have it. another milestone...and that much closer. So my side of the paperwork is allready.....

just waiting to hear of that new court date. (four more weeks of wait, by my guesstimation.) Maybe I will hear of my new date on my birthday.....and from all I am hearing, currently folks are not having to make the two trips..... The Ethiopian government has many details to work out first.....so praying I will make that window, before they get it all figured out and reinforced.

So a YIPPEEE day...I have my new 171H {barely!}

Hoping and a praying....

Feb 23rd is when I was supposedly filed for a court date, (although it may have been the week after)...and talking to other adoptive parents, they took 7 weeks between filing for the date and getting a date...

which would put me at my birthday week in April to hear something... and then their court date was a week after that.

So maybe the end of April, beginning of May.

There are conflicting reports that the two trip requirement has been rescended or put on hold....that too many questions and issues had not been figured out...other rumors that only if you hear about your court date before a certain date....

so who knows. nothing for certain. .... I am praying I will only have to make one trip (all I an afford)...and that we pass court on this next try.....

Would you join in with me? Sometimes all these logistics, plus, as a single mom, figuring out what my kids will do suring the summer, when school is out and I am working.....if the adoption time does not coincide......it makes my head swim. sigh.....

not the easiest of roads....but I wold not trade if for any others I have seen out there. :)....

because I love God and I love my kids....

Another bump in the road....

....looking for the blessing in disguise....

I just found out that Ethiopia has changed their adoptin regulations. They now require two trips in the adoption process. like many other countries do.

The first trip is at your court date, to give testimony as to your intent to adopt this child...in person. The second trip is for the embassy date to get your childs visa and bring her home.

I do not know if this goes into effect immediately or at some future date, but I am assuming it will impact me.

At first, I was heart sick, with yet another delay (perhaps) and more money to make the trip.

I have quickly moved to acceptance. (Although I HATE the more money part) and am trying to look at the benefit.I am hoping it will not delay my court date (we have filed for court am awaiting the date.) The only way I see it could, would be if this appearance is accompanied by more paperwork that needs to be done...or that the agencies need to figure it out first. Hoping there is not a delay.

There is the more money. Ugh. I hate to talk about money. It feels wrong to talk about money. But the money side of adoption is HARD, BIG, SCARY and often for many families, prohibitive. I am blessed that with some penny pinching, I should have the extra...... not what I planned on spending it on...(bye bye basketball hoop, laptop, camera and summer vacation trip).... but really, in the big scheme of things...the things are not important.

I don't like flying...so two trips away from my kids is a bummer...but I will just have to pray it all up. It is in God's hands, and He know all along this was coming down the pike.

So the good side:

Getting to see my Mame sooner and bringing her a suitcase full of goodies! Some clothes, and I will then be able to go back home and shop for her. Reassuring her of us....showing picture...visiting her country. I am hoping {thinking} the first trip for the court date could be shorter too....so maybe less expensive.... So that is a good side of it.

Also, with meeting her first, it changes what visa we bring her into the US with, and now, like Mary was, Olivia will become a US citizen the moment she touches US soil. So that is a good thing as well.

It will change my time off work..and give me one week less than what I had planned in the summer, but we can adjust to that.so...I am ok.

Thrown for a loop again....but ok.

I will wait and see what I hear from my agency.....I want that court date!

Another check mark on my road to being a mom of four....

Today I had my fingerprint appointment with USCIS...for my 171H extension! yea....another step closer...

Timing.....unfathomable.....

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...

I have seen the burden God has laid on men.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.

That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God.

I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him." Eccl 3:1,10-14

With my excitement on filing for a court date for Mame....I have started to think about timing. WHEN will it be that I would actually travel over to Ethiopia to bring her home? All along I had hoped it could be at the edge of summer. Between family care leave and vacation time I have saved up, if it was at the beginning of summer, I could take the whole summer off with my kids to help Mame acclimate to us (not to mention the money I would save without paying for summer childcare). Oh the fun we would have in our new country home with the whole summer off for all of us??!!!

But after 730 plus days of waiting to date, what are the chances that it would work out to be at the beginning of summer?

So I had to ask my homestudy agency how long our local USCIS it taking for the 171h extensions. I am worried, what if I passed court, but could not go, because I was still waiting on my new 171H? Their response was six to eight weeks. Two months????

So then I had to ask my international adoption agency how long are court dates being scheduled from the date we file for one? Their response"Right now, I am seeing court dates taking up to two months from the time we file." The same time frame...

Then I know my embassy/travel date is about four weeks after I pass court. So the timing of all this would be court in late April (maybe my birthday??) and embassy travel in late May!!! The edge of summer!!! The last day of school is May 28th.

Now I know that there are many things that could impact this imagined timeline...but wouldn't it be awesome!!??? I am open to whatever timing God has...but I giggle just to think about it!

362, 698, 730....

730 days since I started this adoption journey for Olivia Mame....

698 days since her referral....

362 days since our last (third failed attempted) court date.......

....we are on the edge of happy.....

I got news today that a new court date is being requested (filed) for Mame, because all her paperwork is "ready"! Happy Dance.

(Now I have to get the updated POA sent to Addis, and am waiting to get fingerprinted for my new 171H).

sigh...sitting happy.

Edging closer.......

It bears repeating:

"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." - Proverbs 25:11

"As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country." - Proverbs 25:25

So I have to get a new POA notorized, authenticated and what ever that other thing is off to Assistant Stork.

I am still waiting on the new 171H (Still waiting on the homestudy agency to send the homestudy to the USCIS)...and then get fingerprinted...ONE MORE TIME....

But I am still happy!

.... we are edging closer to you, Mame....

What a difference a day makes....

"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." - Proverbs 25:11

"As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country." - Proverbs 25:25

I have used this photo before, but it bears repeating. :)

It is funny how a little word, a little clarification, one sentence, can spring hope and excitement where none had been.

We may have progress (awesome, stalled for 16 months type progress) on Mame's case. The coming weeks will tell if this news is the hope I hope it is.

Smiling today.....

Two Step....

One step forward, two steps sideways..... no end in sight.

I know there is an end, someday...right?

I saw new pictures today, of Mame being read the letter we sent her...the "you are not forgotten".

Yet, I have no idea if it is months, year. ever.....

I don't give up. I pencil in plans....remain flexible. Pray, hope, and hang on.

I think we are at point "B", {z actually} only to find out we are at point "zero" or 24, who knows.... When you are at a step, and you don't know how many there are {and it seems like eternal steps without end}...you are not sure, as you hear "supposed" progress...is this closer, is this sideways, or is this backwards.

Cotton-eyed Joe without the fun music, and twirly skirt.

And this is where I trust the Father, without understanding. I have asked. Other's have asked....so it is not a "you have not because you ask not". I have prayed fervently...so power and effectiveness has been brought to the cause, even when I don't see it. I have no idea of the "why" of the delay, in God's eyes. I know He is all-powerful, all loving, I can see changes for the good he has made {is making} in her momma and siblings....better prepared I am sure.

So we do what we do. I wished I could get thrilled on side-step news, new photos. :( I am sorry that I do not. I love the photos...but they are also sad. I love news. Makes me know that something is happening. ..... but I do not know if it is almost there news, or just another step in the long and winding road.

So lovely daughter, far away....life will change one day. There will be lots of laughter, tons of hugs, new wonders, and strange food. :) And I am sure some sibling squabbles. But it will start...someday...I hope.

Meanwhile we take one step forward and two steps sideways....

Happy Valentines Day!

New Pics...fresh ache

I saw new pictures of my daughter today. Ones taken last week. I wish you could see them! She is so beautiful. Becoming a lovely young lady, without a momma.

22 months we have been waiting.

I sent a letter over with a family leaving tomorrow... just to ask her to keep believing, and we love her and miss her and cannot wait for her to come home.

All the clothes are too small, but we will have fun shopping.

Oh, Lord how long? How about now? Is it time now?

In a Bible Study I am doing with some other ladies, this week, it talked about how hard it can be some times to get to our promise land. That it takes a lot of spiritual muscle building (faith, hope, prayer, trust, grace, believing) to get to our promise. And that is because once we get our promise, it takes a lot of spiritual muscle to keep it from our enemy who is out to kill and steal and destroy.

I know from the experience in the trenches that being a "broken momma of broken children" IS hard! {and wonderful!} And that it daily takes the grace, faith and trust from God, that it took to become a moma.

So I know that. I know these 22 plus months have taught me a lot, brought me further on in healing, and that I have far to go. I know I will NEVER be truly ready. But God's grace will fill the gap. I have to believe, Lord, that she is ready. That she has waited long enough.

Soon, Lord, please, soon.

She wears a cross on her neck, a great reminder in where our trust is.

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness.

I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus name.

On Christ the solid rock, I stand,

all other ground is sinking sand

all other ground is sinking sand.

Bittersweet....

bittersweet: being at once bitter and sweet; especially : pleasant but including or marked by elements of suffering or regret

I finally recieved a new picture of Olivia Mame today....the last few batches of pictures, from traveling families brining there children home, did not contain any pictures of her. I was worried. Fearing she was hiding from the camera, the vivacious girl who is normally upfront and out there!

Today I saw a picture of her and the tears rolled.

Such a bittersweet little Mona Lisa smile on her face. And her eyes so big and sad. My heart melts like chocolate.

I have had word that she feels she is forgotten. That she had a spell of refusing to talk to the workers, because they do not have a family for her. (Or at least one who will come and get her! I am sure our photo album and care packages have long been forgotten. How could you expect a child to hold on to that, day after day?)

I have heard her real name is Hiwot or Hewit...and that it means Life. After 22 months of "Mame", (which I am told is a "house" name or nick name)... it is hard to wrap my head around a different name... I have heard that others call her by Hiwot though, as well as Mame....

You are not forgotten dear one. You are not. By me or by God. I promise!

You are spoken of and prayed for and heart-loved constantly.

Image 0220, in the light blue shirt with the sad smile, you are my daughter.

Please Pray...

Please pour on the prayers for my girl right now...it is much needed.

The enemy of our lives would love to keep us in chaos, fear, anger, and alone.

Our God is mighty in power, His understanding has no limit. He can breakdown any stronghold and overcome any impediment that man would raise.

After 22 months, we need to pray Mame home....would you join me?

The waters can look overwhelming, but there is a little soul at stake...and our God, El Roi, is the God who sees....

Abba, Mame, she needs you...on the white charger, to come to her recue. We cannot do this without you. Only you can fight the odds and bring her home. Calm the storm, right the wrongs, save the hearts and rescue your daughter......my maker, my husband, I have no where else to turn but to you, please, rescue your daughter.

Sandee

Melkam Ganna, sweet Mame....

It was Christmas today in Ethiopia...

Mame's second Christmas in the orphanage. Last year we were blessed that there were families traveling on this day and I have photos of the Christmas celebration at her orphanage.

They had songs and treats and new shirts, a small tree and a goat for dinner!

With all our worries and wait I have with bringing Mame home, she had a special day today.

I pray for each and every one of the children in her orphanage:

Ah Abba,

you see them,

you love them,

your plans for them ache in your heart as it does in ours.

Your power and understanding has no limits...

I pray for each child there, every one, not ONE left behind.

Move I pray on their behalf...move for them I pray.

Bless them all, as they sleep right now after a special, exciting day.

Amen..

Melkam Ganna little ones!

.....

Merry Christmas, Baby girl....

surely next year...... surely.

Jubilee.....

"...a little girl without a family for almost 8 years now has a family that will love her forever!." Precious Jubilee, after 600 days of wait and what looked like a closed door, has just met her momma....

There is rejoicing in heaven...and here too.... Congratulations Linny, Jubilee and family!

You give me hope and spur me on. You lift me up and inspire me when my spirit is dragging...

And Kat...your comment yesterday....thank you...bless you....your prayers mean more than you know. Thank you.