Thursday, November 19, 2009

It must be love....

March 27th 2008 is when I recieved my referral for Mame. Was told most adoptions in Ethiopia are completed in 6 months. With all the hoops and paperwork (and money) and delays and failed court dates and changes in personnel and changes in policy and courts and law and .....

all of it...much more I won't mention here.... I am surprized in a way that I am still here. That the proverbial towel has not hit the floor and the fighter stumbled away.

But I am. Like I am with my children I already have at home, I am in love with my child and you take whatever comes. Doesn't mean you don't feel and reel from each punch, each blow, each gasp for breath as the air has been knocked out of you again..... It is hard to keep a sense of excited, frenzy, after 18 months of waiting and no end in sight. It is hard to get hopeful about any evaporating droplet of news.... (usually isn't any)... and when personnel changes once again, I get scared.

Will the "new folks" care about my daughter? Will the understand the urgency of her paperwork in the mountain of others? Will they take any personal, push it through action?

So fear stirs in my airless belly.

But then, I remember....

When I am afraid, I trust in God. He is my hope and Mame's. He is never suprized or sucker-punched. So I trust, pray and trust...and ache.

It must be love....


  1. Have faith, and trust and pray & soon the hearache will be gone and your precious daughter will be in your arms-- You're almost there, you just have to hang on with everything you've got-- you know it's worth every tear and all of the PAIN in the end.

    Praying for you

  2. I'm sure it must be really hard to wait. I will be praying that process moves ahead quickly.

  3. I am so sorry the wait has been this long. Trusting with you. And still praying.