Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Oh Dopey me...oh Smart God!

So I had an adrenelin rush today.

I got an email that I interpreted to say that my court date for Olivia Mame was tomorrow!

I cried, I giggled, I cried some more and was giddy. My heart actually hurt! It was swelling and full and overwhelmed. I even mailed folks, posted a message, and announced it on my yahoo group, only to find out, I misunderstood. Oh dopey me! Felt stupid.

What is interesting about it though, is, when I thought it was true, I felt panicky! I need more time to save up money for plane fare, and I am just now understanding that Mary has some attachment challenges, I need a month with her, before I take on another...and..

Any way, when I found out my error, I was not as upset as I could have been. It felt like, yep, God knows what He is doing. He knows the time I need.

So the real deal, is my papers get filed in court tomorrow so I can get a court date assigned. I was told the date would be around 5 weeks out, with travel 3-4 weeks after that.

That timeframe makes more sense.

Coming to Grips with Attachment

I have been just opening my eyes and starting to work with the attachment challenges I have with Mary. I am sure I will also have challenges with Olivia. I read a comment response the onther day on Grace's blog (another single adoptive mother, and co-director of Hope Adoption Agency) (http://sistermom.blogspot.com/) where someone
mentioned a book on attachments called "Coming to Grips with Attachment", by Katharine Leslie, Phd, who is also an adoptive mom of 4.

It is awesome. Mine came in the mail yesterday and I have read 1/2 of it. I recommend it for EVERYONE who is adopting, whether you THINK there are attachment issues or not. Eye opening...and freeing
from guilt, so you can grow the relationship and move forward.

I am getting so many ah-ha...and although I wish I had had it 3 years ago BEFORE I brought Mary home, it is probably even more appreciated now, having struggled with what I have struggled with.

www.brandnewdayconsulting.com is where I ordered it. Just the chapter about love and feeling love and why it can be different in adoption, expecially when adopting children around age 3 or older, was in itself worth the price of the whole book.

Good stuff!.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Nine, nine? I like Nine

The more I think on it, the more I like nine... if Olivia turns out to be 9.
I had a long, lying-on-the-bed face-to-face relaxed chat with Tadpole the other day.... and we talked about what if his new "little sister" was taller than him.
I didn't talk about older, since we really do not know her exact age, and even if 9, schooling-wise and Ethiopian birth certificate-wise, she may be treated as 7.

But heighth-wise. That can be a guy thing. So I wanted to probe those waters and see what Taddy thought, after all he is stocky, but not so tall.

His matter-of-fact statement on the subject was, "Well, Mom, there are FIRST graders taller than me and even one kindergartner!"

So no problem. No ego tied into his heighth, we just have to hope she is not too skilled at Hotwheels Velocity X and we will have it made.

Courts are OPEN!!

As of Sept 28th.....so I could hear about a court date anytime.....

Friday, September 26, 2008


I received some new pictures of Olivia Mame today.... having fun with Playdoh. I wonder if thst is her first time? :) Still smiling, still growing!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wanna Smile

This is a lovely blog of a family and their precious daughter....

Click on the video by the words First date...and get ready for your heart to smile.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Older than I thought....

So, besides more pictures, I just got an update from a returning mom regarding Olivia Mame:

"Mame: She is the leader of the pack. So smiley and pretty and
happy. We all fell in love with her. She looks like she's 9. She
is not 6 1/2. I'd lay money on that one. I have a 10 year old girl,
so I'm pretty sure about my estimate of being 9. She is the oldest
looking, biggest one in there. So sweet. I'd steal her any day."

So now, that flips things a bit. First off, Taddy is not getting another younger sister, but an older sister. Gulp. Not sure how he will handle that. I think with it being a sister, it will be better, easier, than another older brother. I don't think it will make a difference to Nick or Mary, since it does not change the birth order.

Besides the birth order consideration, I need to rethink school. I was planning on bringing her into the 1st grade. But at age 9, that would be the 4th grade. 3rd at the youngest. I have no clue if she has had any schooling, and the school my kids go to does not have an ESL program, so I need to find that on the side.

I know God knew, all this, and it is not a surprize to Him. I am not concerned, just thinking...what do we do differently..and how will it all work. :) I think a kg, 2nd, 3rd, and 5th grader works well. Just gotta figure out how to do it.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Attachment Disorders

Now aren't those disturbing words. It is interesting, as I am starting to read, and to talk about my challenges with Mary, this has come up in several conversations. At first I wrote it off as the easy out...ie Folks here she is adopted and immediately jump to adoption as the root cause of the issues.But, in one conversation someone asked me, does she do this..and this..and that...and pretty much discribed her behavior to a tee..so I need to focus on it. It also does not help that I was going through my own Post-adoption issues, the first year she was home.So..now we are learning and planning on doing some back-tracking...and getting some ideas on what to do...things I can use for Olivia as well I am sure.Two good books mentioned to me...one I have the other I just ordered:Post-Adoptoin Blues by Karen J. Foli and John R. Thompson (http://www.amazon.colm/)and Coming to Grips with attachment by Katherine Leslie. (http://www.brandnewdayconsulting.com/)There is always hope.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Court Countdown...

It is 12 days until courts open in Ethiopia. Talking to one of the managers at the adoption agency, she said Mame's paperwork was all ready before the courts closed, they were just waiting on my dossier.
So now my dossier has been sitting there, waiting for the courts to reopen...
YIPEE! So 12 days and counting....and then we may have a court date assigned soon after that. All in God's timing I know.
Was told today by someone who got to visit the orphanage: "We really loved Mame! "
Can't wait!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Today is Olivia Mame's Birthday

Today is Mame's birthday..according to her profile. She is turning 7, according to her profile. I bet she never celebrated a birthday. I asked God to send her a special blessing today...a good laugh with a friend, a kind word or hug, and hope in her heart....Tonight I am taking my three kids shopping for Olivia Mame a gift, wrap it, put it on her top bunk and sing happy birthday and pray for her. (We are adding Olivia to her name Mame...So she will be Olivia Mame.(mah may) It is funny, my Mary Beth's nickname is Mei-mei (may may) So I will have a may may and a mah may.

Little Princess Far Away
Do you know that it's your day
Turning 7, the papers say
Today is Mame's Birthday.

Far away, yet close inside
Eyes that sparkle, smile wide
Joy in your heart, your face implies
Today is Mame's birthday.

Abba send her blessings I pray
Kindness, hugs and laughs today.
A hope of family, forever to stay
Today is Mame's birthday.

We pick out gifts, one from each
Some for play, some to teach
Placed up high (out of sister's reach)
Today is Mame's Birthday.

Happy Birthday to you we sing
Hearts are full, tears it brings
Each says a prayer to our heavenly King,
Bless Mame on her birthday.

Abba, bring us together soon. Keep us all safe and build the love even now. Amen.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Waiting Child

The Waiting Child

By Debbie Bodie

I saw you meet your child today

You kissed your baby joyfully

And as you walked away with her

I pretended that you'd chosen me

I'm happy for the baby, yet

Inside I'm aching miserably

I want to plead as you go by

Does no one want a child of three?

I saw you meet your child today

In love with her before you met

And as I watched you take her out

I knew it wasn't my turn yet

I recognize you from last year

I knew I'd seen your face before

But you came for a second babe

Does no one want a child of four?

I saw you meet your child today

But this time it was something new

A nurse came in and took MY hand

And then she gave my hand to you

Can this be true? I'm almost six

And there are infants here, you see

But then you kissed me and I knew

The child you picked this time was me!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Stop...right now..and Hug 'em!

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4434608n (Champman interview from 9/10/08)

Those little or big ones in your home and heart....here now and soon to be...hug em

Every day hug them...and laugh a lot and relish in who they are...and not what they are not.

Thank you for them Lord.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

So why would you do this..?

Aren't your hands full already?
I read this poem on Holly's blog and it reflected what I think and feel:

Some would gather money along this path of life

Some would gather roses and rest from earthly strife.

But I would gather children from among the thorns of sin

I would seek some little curl or an awkward toothless grin.

For money cannot enter in that land of endless days

And roses that are gathered soon will wilt along the way.

But Oh, the laughing children as I cross that sunset sea

And the gates swing wide to heaven, I can bring them in with me.

** author unknown

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

A Hair Party...

So I got news and new pictures on Olivia today. Several of the pictures were of 3 or 4 of the girls in the orphanage all doing each others hair! It is so precious! (I can see the scrapbook page now!) And the news I got was:

Mame is very sweet and speaks Amahric. She was wearing a size 7 skirt (too tight) and a 14 jacket (too large) she is 52" high and has an 8" foot.

Whee! Now I know what language to learn phrases in, I did not know if she spoke Amharic or Oromo...and I know the sixe 7 shirts and pants I have are too small, so I will pass them down to Mary. Wish I could show you the pictures...they are just too cute.