Thursday, January 31, 2008

I am not ashamed....

Sons [and daughters] are indeed a heritage from the Lord, children a reward. Like arros in the hand of a warrior are the sons [and daughters] born in ones youth. Happy is the man[and woman] who has filled his quiver with them. Such men[and women] will never be put to shame when they speak with their enemies at the city gate. Ps 127:3-5

I am not ashamed to add another “arrow to my quiver”. God has rewarded me thrice with his blessings of my children and if He chooses to reward me again, I open my arms wide. Though some may think I am not “quite right upstairs” to want to add another child to my family, I know my motivation to them is a mystery or perhaps I do not understand the cost (not financially, although that too, but the total cost.)

Yes, I have 3 already and I actually do understand. J I am HAPPY to fill my quiver with another.

All the “what ifs?”….
The “could bes?”……..
The “are you sures???”…
The “why?”

Unless the Lord builds my family, then I labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over my family, I watch in vain. (Ps 127:1) God knows what He is doing. I trust Him. I am open to his GO and I am open to his Stop! I am not building my family, He is.

I am trusting Him with all my heart and with these little loves in my heart. My own understanding won’t cut it. I acknowledge His authority and His supremacy, sovereignty, wisdom and plan..and He WILL direct my path.

So I get to relax and see.

Often as I have shared with someone my intent to adopt and add a fourth child into my family, I find myself pre-cringing at their reaction and being almost apologetic in advance.

And then, too, I have gotten enough raised eyebrows, or long silent pauses or not silent, amazed, are you insane, reactions to maybe warrant my pre-cringing.

But, I am not shamed. One close friend of mine said it very well. She said. “I get it, because I know you.” And she is right, she does.

And my Lord knows me so well and so He builds (or not) onto my family because He knows, and He loves….and I trust.

Reminds me of the song by Nicole Nordeman, We Build. I may go look it up and post it here, when I have some more time

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