Between the peaks of getting a referral and having all my paperwork complete, and the mini-peaks for various court date expectancies, and sitting open at court, and...
between all those peaks.....are valleys. And from a birds eye view, I might see the true perspective of one long valley from last July until..some future date when I pass court.
So come have a cup of Java with me in this valley.
I just found out news today, that the ban on abandonment cases being lifted, was not what I was truly waiting for. That Mame still needs some paperwork from the local authorities in the region where she was born. This particular paperwork quest was started in February...three month before the ban was imposed. Next week, the lawyer at Hope in Ethiopia is going to Mame's city of origin to try to get the paper work complete. (bless her with favor Lord, and bless her for caring enough for this ONE case, one little girl, out of so many, to take the time.)
So, I know my wait will be longer than I was not expecting. (Odd phrase..I should have been expecting shorter, but really don't expect anything any more, other than one day it will happen. )
So in this long valley...the changing of my mood/perspective has changed the view of this valley. It has offered time for growth (spiritual emotional) to my family here, waiting. Being far better adjusted now to take on a new family member, than back in Nov 2008, and still seeing how we need to grow. Better school-wise. (three of the four will be at the same school now, rather than three different schools).... Better health-wise (will have some surgeries out of the way, that could have been hard on Mame to be with momma, then have momma be in the hospital)....and even a time of being "family alone" as our au pair leaves in August and it will be just me and the kids for awhile. My kids have taken on chores and are helping around the house now. My eyes have been opened to the comsummer bug, and we are eradicating him form our life as much as possible..... so many good things in this valley.
And now, knowing the valley will again be longer, and the travel money being gobbled up by two major car repairs, school uniforms, and other unexpected budget biters,....I have more time to re-save the money which will bring Olivia Mame home.
The wear and tear on my heart in the valley is less now. My heart is not so frenzied, my emotions not so raw.
I cannot truly understand Mame's heart in all this. I know it is hard seeing other kids go. Even though they are going to an unknown...a dream. Sometimes the loss or delay of the dream is far more painful than the reality. So I know this valley has been extremely long for her. On the other hand, she does not know us, the reality of us, just the thought and photo of us. No way to comprehend WHY it has been 16 months of waiting, no realization that it HAS been that long, for her I am sure. I pray for God to give her hope, joy and comfort...and to prepare her heart for transition...some day.
So when folks ask me, I tell you...I do not know. I am hoping Mame will be home in 2009, my mind thinks, SURELY she will. But I do not know.