Words and Prayers....

A momma just returning from Ethiopia, bringing home her children, shared this about Mame:

Sandee
Just wanted to tell u what a special girl you have in Mame. She has such a presence about her. My husband fell in love with both she and El-shaday. She is VERY VERY pretty and her smile will melt your heart. You are one lucky mom!

Now if I could just get her home! And dear Kat, asked folks to pray for Mame on her blog. Thank you. I'm off to Snapfish to see if there are new pictures of Olivia Mame....

Is this the hardest thing I'll ever do?

I don't think so. I am sure it is not. But it feels hard today.

To keep believing, keep hoping, keep waiting, keep being in the dark.

I get grumpy over it.

See I don't trust. I don't trust that anyone is doing anything or really cares, or can do anything or is even giving my case a second thought...

or if they do, it is, yea that one...and move the file aside. Because it is hard.

So I sometimes think, why not just stop it. Say you are done, ask for all your money back. Go adopt an easier case? Be done, move on with your life. Let them figure it out some day, and then someone else will be able to adopt her.

Sounds cold huh? It is cold. But see our relationship is only a couple photos and a few gift bags, right?

And 18 months of praying and thinking and talking and waiting and hoping and emotional investing and ...

How can it be, that this one, this girl, Mame, is the one when we have never met? Why not someone else?

I don't know. But she is. It's Mame, and its hard.

I do not trust man. Sorry, I have heard too many sad, sad stories, gotten too much bad news, conflicting news and changing stories, to trust man.

So do I trust God? YES! I do. Without a second's thought. But the challenge is not in trusting God, it is in knowing what God will do. for reason's beyond my knowing God moves and does and doesn't do things that seem to logical thought something that He would do. (or wouldn't).

So, although I know God is with me. I know God has been along this journey each step and that nothing surprizes him in the least, I don't know what He knows and has planned on the outcome. He may have the hardest day ahead of me yet. I do not know.

But I have never seen: just quit, give up, walk around crabby, be despressed, as a choice on His path.

So I go in, hand poised to turn the calendar from August to September (again), not waiting on a court date, not waiting on the rains to stop (am I?), not waiting on the courts to reopen, but waiting on I don't know what and waiting on God to reveal what's next.

And a little girl, Mame, still has a home and a momma and a little sister and two big brothers and a Nanny and a Papa and a sometimes naughty puppy all waiting for her. Still.

I

Praying for an 8 year old.

My heart goes out to Linny and her family, as they have waited 18 months for dear Jubilee and now have crushing news. Nothing is impossible for our God.

Will you join in prayer with them?

a blessing

to wake up each day and pray for you

to bring your name before God each night

to talk to Jesus about you,

he who has walked beside you all day, when I cannot

that is a blessing.

Favor, hope and protection to you today, dear Mame, blessings.

amen

I love Linny's heart for God!

Be free, be free.....I just love what Linny posted today on her blog about adopting.

YOU MUST READ IT! here

She is speaking the heart of God. Be free and pursue it!

Yes Lord. Yes! Send me~

Nothing to say.....

So why post? I don't know. I am tired of that old post sitting there. Nothing new. No progress or if there is progress, no communication of it....so I doubt no progress.

I have been getting a lot of new pictures of her. She looks so much bigger, grown up. Her 8th birthday is less than a month away. Her second birthday spent in the orphanage, waiting....

(wow. I sound like I am whining).

Ok...I will add a pretty picture to look at and shutup.

Close to my Heart....

I have to show you this really cute necklace that Heather, who has an Etsy.com shop, Found and Made, is making for me!! I found out about her when reading a blog I follow by Emily (Life is Beautiful) and her sharing about a necklace Heather made her. So I found Heather's shop on Etsy and saw these darling scrabble charms she makes... It has a map on one side and a scrabble letter on the other. So first she made one with a map of Ethiopia that shows Addis Ababa and on the back the letter M for Mame. Then I had her make one with Qing Dao City China on one side and Q ( for my little princess Qing Qing aka Mary Beth) on the other...and then I thought, well I need to include the boys...so next came Folsom, Ca and T for Tadpole and Sacramento, CA and N for Nickerbocker.

How totally cute is that??!!!! She showed me two different ways she could string on a chain with beads or on a cord..... I love them both, especially the colors of the beads, but I think I will be able to wear the brown with more things.

They are darling, no? She can make you one too!! She will only do custom orders through Sept, then she is getting ready for Christmas.

So so cute, and she is nice. So I will be carrying my four loves around my neck, close to my heart.

I read about a dear sweet momma to be, who lost her referral today, because the relative that relinquished her son-to-be, could not be found. So said. and it scares me about Mame. But I know I am trusting in God and not man. I just want Mame to have a hope and a future and not live her life in an orphanage. Holding on and praying. This will be my prayer necklace...I will hold each tile and pray for that child.

Bittersweet...

Update: Today C (who is a momma over there right now) told me: "Mame said thanks for the gifts she loves you and when are you coming.?" My heart aches! Lord, when AM I coming????

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My heart longs for her....

Reports from two mommies recently in Ethiopia who visited with Mame:


"Sandee, Mame is very shy at first, but I showed {her} how to play some hand games, like Slide, and she laughed so hard and had so much fun. She is so mature...when I met {my daughter} she was coaching her through the process and telling her what to say and do, it brought tears to my eyes because she surely is the big sister there to all the little girls."

"Unfortunately the English speaker was not there when we left the package. She, Mame, appeared confused at first when I handed her the package but then I said America Momma and she lit up... Mame is very animated and extremely graceful. She is such a stunning girl. She seemed to be very at ease with herself and around other people and she really liked the pez candy dispenser once I showed her how it worked."

I got to see a video of her getting her package from us and opening it...and one of the mom's told me she looks like she is 6 or 7, no older than 8. Which is perfect, as her paperwork says she will turn 8 next month.

I carry an ache/fear....that the guardian relinquishment issue/paperwork will never be resolved and my daughter will live her life in an orphanage. Surely not! Please pray with me.