New Hair do....

Oh, we all love a new DOOOOOOO!

I saw some new pictures of Olivia (from a couple families traveling to gather their little ones...) and I noticed she had a new do. Zizagged part and three braids on each side. Very cute!

So I am going to have the fun of learning a whole new set of hair dos. Fun... SO I do some hair-do surfing...and here are some I came across. No none of these pictures are MY Oliva...but lots of pretty girls with pretty Hair dos!

She Knows.....

News from Ethiopia.

Below is a snippet of an update from a mom who is over in Ethiopia getting her daughter. She visited the orphanage where Olivia Mame, our dear one is, and gave her the little package we sent her, that includes a little photo album of us. This is a snippet of what she wrote in an update to our yahoo.group:

Forgive me for not remembering...but whoever has Mame...ohhh she is SUCH a sweetheart. We gave her the package and showed her the pictures and got it all on video. She was so excited and kept saying Mommy??!!?? With a huge smile...you will cry when you see it.

Isn't that awesome? Precious? She now knows of us and that she has a family! Yes, I am a mommy again!

Home study, home study...wait wait wait.

So, an update:

I was hoping the actual writing of my homestudy would take less than the 2 months that my social worker predicted. (One month for her to write it and one month for the home office to review it. )

I gently, kindly, showed her pictures of my sweet Oliva Mamea in Africa, and told her the only little thing we are currently waiting on to move forward is......well......her to write the homestudy. Since I had my homestudy with them when I adopted Mary, it was an update really...not having to start from scratch and decipher the history of my life.

So, with the last visit on April 4th, the one month, for her part, would be May 4th. So I thought, at half way, I would just gently, kindly inquire as to the progress, hoping, knowing that she was the only thing between me and moving on, knowing it was an updating, knowing Olivia is waiting and we want to get there before the rainy season...(yet knowing, I am just "another case" in an overloaded caseload).... hoping to hear good news. Friday, I heard. "I have not started yet..."(had it for 15 days and have not typed one word of it??!!--thought, but not said). " But I plan to start next week and should be able to have it done by the end of the month." 4 days. Maybe 4 days earlier than the one month prediction. :(

sigh...not the answer I was hoping for, but at least I know. Then it goes to their head office, and I know there is no hope that it will go quicker than 30 days there, when the pleading eyes of a waiting mommy and waiting daughter to a social worker had no impact. Why would another packet of papers in a stack of many draw attention?

So..there is where we are.....waiting mode.

I am ok with it....God has his timing and I am ok with it. Was just hoping for some happy, quicker news.!

On another note, a mother from Oregon, Denise, has left for Ethiopia to pick up her children. In her luggage she has a package for Olivia, including a photo album of us. Olivia will find out for the first time either today or tomorrow, that we are her family and what we look like.

I covet your prayers for her as she adjusts to these thoughts. I pray the very thought will be a blessing and hope for her. Pray Denise has a smooth and fruitful journey. (She is still waiting for one piece of paper from the states, to be able to bring her children home, but stepped out on faith, since she has an Embassy appt in Addis Ababa on Friday.)

2 1/2 hours until our Home Homestudy visit....

Update: We survived...and all went well! Whew! What a day, braces for Nick, walk-thru on a possible bigger house, Home Study Visit.

Now...time to unwind!!! Lookout Nim Island, here we come!

---------------------

Well the house it is as clean as it is going to get. My mom and dad came over yesterday when I was at work and mopped and cleaned from top to bottom. Isn't that a blessing????

Since then I have only allowed my kids to sit and walk as tin soldiers and eat while standing in the bathtub. haha. Justk idding. Well, ...almost. :) Do you know that pull-ups almost fit a Yorkie, if you don't want himto have an "accident" on newly mopped floors?

sigh....

So, learning from a painful lesson on my first go round adoption,have some engaging project for the kids to do while the socialworker is here. So they don't sit so nervous that when she getshere they lose all reason, and cognitive thought and act like wildalien spacemen without parents. :)So I have set up the watercolors, paint brushes and art supplies onthe kitchen table and they do not get to start until 5 minutesbefore her arrival.

Is that staging? LOL!

They really DO like painting and we REALLY have done it before!!!!

Pray for us.

We may celebrate (or console ourselves) afterwards by going to the movies to see Island of Nim.

Just keep swimming....just keep swimming.......

Sometimes it does not seem like a lot of progress....but it is progress...so I just keep swimmimg.....

Remember the saga about the Child Clearance Letter I needed from the DOJ? Well after a couple months and hair pulling and fingerprinting twice...I found out today, I did not need to do ANY OF THAT!!! My social worker said today, they already had everything they needed and they would include the information in my homestudy regarding this.

!!!!!!!

Sigh...not sure WHY someone could not have told me that on one of my 25 calls before.....but....at least I know now. Just keep swimming....

So I had my first homestudy meeting. Went well. We laughed a lot. and the home visit is scheduled for next Friday! yea! I was hoping the homestudy would be done by the end of April. (or sooner). I found out today, they say 8 weeks!!!!! 4 WEEKS for my social worker to write it and 4 weeks for the home office to review and approve it.

sigh. She admitted it does not take that long to write one homestudy, but the fact is I am not the only one, so it is more the "queue" wait, than the actually writing. And we laughed over the fact that, yea, I realize it is not all ab0ut me!!! (Truly, yea, ok, I know, it is not. :) )

So I am contend with us moving at the pace we move at. God has his timing. So with this timing there is not telling if my dossier will get to Ethiopia and through court in enough time for me to get custody before the courts close for the rainy session...with is mid-July until October...or close to it...a couple months or more.

I would rather travel during summertime, yet on the other hand, having the kids in school when I travel and being settled on the home front, may be a better tme for all involved. Either way, God has it covered and I...well ..... I just keep on swimming....

I bought some goodies for a little package to be taken over to Olivia with another family that is traveling ...with an album of the family. The kids are going to draw some pictures to put in it!

This is the fun stage of the whole adoption journey. Putting a face to our dream, praying for her at night, thinking and talking about her with the kids.....

God is good!

Just keep swimming......

YES!

I said YES! (With God's permission!) I accepted today the referral of a precious little angel from Ethiopia..... "Olivia" Mame (or Mamea...not sure of the spelling or pronounciation.)

Just perfect for us..... I pray we are perfect for her. She is lovely, cute, smiley, happy. Due to Ethiopia law, I cannot post pictures of her in a public setting until she is really mine, after the court date...so I am sorry...because she is lovely!

She is around 6 or 6 1/2...and loves pink, (as I mentioned the other day!)

So I have my first homestudy interview tomorrow. I am hoping my homestudy will be done by the end of April, or sooner. Then I get it all authenticated at the Secy of State...then off to Assistant Stork to be checked and send to the Ethiopian Embassy and the US Consulate..then on to Ethiopia. Then it gets translated and hopefully approved by the MOWA. Then a court date is set. Once I pass court, then I travel.

Easy as cake, no? (LOL!) ok, not so, but !! Big step...we found OLIVIA!

God is good. But we all knew that, huh?

Why must we care about orphans?

There are some 143 million children around the world who are considered orphans through losing one or both parents, according to the United Nations. Moreover, every 14 seconds a child loses a parent due to Aids – the leading cause for a child to lose both parents.

Yet between 1971 and 2001, US citizens have adopted only over a quarter million children, according to the US Department of State.




Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

Well, only if it is convenient. Only if it won't put you out, or financially cause a challenge. And only if you can still afford those new soccer shoes and daily latte's. And only if they are cute and well behaved. OH yea, and only if it does not cost much and the paperwork is easy. Oh, and only if someone else does it and I can pray for them. ..... Only......


I was thinking...there are many ways we can become polluted by the world. But one way, that cries out to me most, especially in the culture in which I live, is the myopic view of our lives and what we think we can do or bear, and what we think is not for us...ie Adopting may be for some folks, but not for me because : _____________. Fill in the blank.

But yet, there are 143 million children needing families? If not the Christian community WHO is God calling on do adopt? If not us, than WHO????
Like the froggie in the boiling pot of water, for so many years I became desensitized to what I had become, what I expected from life, what I was ENTITLED to... yet, God, all the time is crying out for His faithful to step up to His heart cry.

The children.

Our children.

Why would we not? Is there any reason good enough? Can I look Jesus in the eye and say, I could not Lord, because ________________ and then look down at His nail scarred hands?

Pretty in Pink...

2 months 3 weeks and 6 days.

I may have found Olivia today. I think I have. I will have more information tomorrow...but today may have been the day when I laid eyes on her for the first time...

Wearing pink and a beautiful smile. Will she want to be my daughter? Will she want to be in this family that looks different from each other and different from her?

Abba, if this is our Olivia, make it so.

I have about 8-10 pictures of her, thanks to some families that just returned from Addis Ababa and took lots of pictures of all the children, and in each of them, she is wearing pink! :) And in one a pink Minnie Mouse! Minnie Mouse was Mary's favorite when we adopted her.... How cute that they may have this in common!

Now I just wait for more information...tomorrow........

Half a Step Closer

My First Home Study Appt is Scheduled!

Wheeeee! I have my first appt scheduled for next week, March 28th. It seems like it has been so much scurrying to get to this point. Paperwork, appts, reading...and I know I am not all the way there, but.....at least I am half a step closer!

And since I have been through all this homestudy stuff before, I am not worried.

Half a happy dance!

God is good and loving beyond comprehension....

I just love God. He is so caring. I was troubled, not doubting my intent to adopt, but wanting to be open to questions posed to me. Like others who walk with God and get a call to do something..."different" and then get hit with obstacles or at least a bumpy road, I too can either bully through and wait on God...

I asked God, still feeling peace over my adoption plans, if He would in some way that would mean something to me...He would know best, reconfirm to me that I was walking the path HE would have for me.

And then I just restfully sat that request at His feet, not knowing for sure what He would show me or when.

That very night He showed me not once, but twice.

First, I have been reading Stepping Heavenward, by Elizabeth Prentiss, written in 1869. That night I picked it up to read where left off. Katy, the main character, went with her children to spend the summer on a farm. She was talking to the farmer's wife, Mrs. Brown, about children. Katy had four. Mrs Brown none. Mrs. Brown said children were fine, if you could afford them, but that she was lving month to nmonth and trying to pay off her mortgage. Katy agreed their is worry and care of children, but that is only half of the tstory...that there is pure joy and delight as well. (How often am I smiling over my little ones and like Katy, as God works in me and I become more at rest in Him, less selfish and less upset over petty things - the more joy and delight I experience.)

Katy went on to say, suppose you do have nore money comin in and less going out and you pay off the wole mortgage...what then? (temporary concerns, is this my eternal calling to pay off a mortgage....) Who will enjoy it with you? Who willyou leve it to> Who will car for you when you are old? (grin)

Here is the clincher, she said:

"I want to see little children adorning every home as flowers adorn every meadow and every wayside. I want to see them welcomed to the homes they enter, see their parents grow less and less selfish and more and more loving because they have came. I want to see God's precious gifts accepted, not frowned upon and refused."

Yes Lord...

Later I was doing my Patriarch homework and reading about Abram and Sarai in Genesis...about following the path God sets for us. That He bless me and makes me "many".

So I am at peace and thankful to my Abba who reinforces the path He leads me on.

Slightly Despondent...

I am slightly despondent, but I will recover....

I was planning on my tax return to fund a big chunk of my adoption. Every year for the past 6-7 years I have gotten a return about the same amount, so yes, even though it is counting those eggs before they hatch, I WAS counting on it.

I just fund out it is about 5000 less than normal. Not sure why. Something to do with selling stock. (Although they hold out taxes on stock, and my stock was not worth much....)

So part of my gut says go double-check the stock part, that they don't have it wrong. And another part says, boy, wow, I was counting on that...now what do I do?

But the biggest part says, God knows all this. And if He is blessing the adoption, He will bless a way to fund it.

Thoughts on Adoption..by John Piper

Before the world, in love adoption has its origin, from God....and through Him...the reason: Grace - bringing praise to his name.

John Piper at 50 adopted his daughter. God's grace is put on display most beautiful through adoption.

God planned from eternity to fold my children into our family.

Eph 1:3-6
In love He predestined us unto adoption....

Fingerprinting...

So another click on the train.... I was fingerprinted today. My last piece of paper (other than my home study) for my Dossier requires that I submit my fingerprints to get a clearance letter.

It won't be the last time I am fingerprinted..(Still need to be fingerprinted by immigration), but at least it is a day where it feels like I did something tangible to move forward.

Hang on, Olivia, we are coming.....

Something Happen, something happen, something happen....

Hurry up, fill this out,, ok wait...wait, oh gosh, hurry, ok ok

wait....not hurry. wait.

sigh...

outta my hands

God's timing....

sigh....

Sometimes you just want SOMETHING TO HAPPEN. :)

ok that's ok. I will go get some coffee..... to Calm down.! ha!

Another Clack on the Track....

Well I hit another milestone today on my journey to Ethiopia and Olivia. I mailed off my last requirement for my homestudy pre-work. So now I get assigned a social worker and the homestudy interviews and visits begin. Yea.... I had such a funny story from my homestudy when I adopted from China...but it is too long for me to retell this am. Nothing can top that one though.

So...if I could just get Alberto to call me back on my clearance letter.....it has been three days and a weekend. Think I should bug him?

Quite a Lifestyle

I have a blog at work that is only available to other employees and focusing on topics pertinent to the workplace. Many employees post blogs at this same site.

Since so much of what I am about is NOT work related, I put a comment and link on my work blog to my adoption and family blogs.

A few days ago, I was walking through our gray-walled cubicle halls and a co-worker that I know very slightly, we pursued an undergraduate degree at the same school, same program 10 or so years ago, bumped into me and mentioned that he had read my blog. (I was not sure if he meant the work one, or one of the others. After his next comment, I figured out which.)

He said something about me adopting, don't exactly remember what, then he said: "Quite the lifestyle."

I smiled, yep, and moved on. But those words stuck with me. I do not think they were intended to be a compliment. More a declaration as to my questionable frame of mind to make this type of lifestyle by CHOICE. :)

Lifestyle: the typical way of life of an individual

Life: the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual.

Style: a distinctive manner or custom of behaving or conducting oneself, also : a particular mode of living

Quite: to an extreme

So, thinking about it. I get his point of view. He is older, single, (divorced) grown children. Lives alone. A different lifestyle than mine.

But I now like the thought that I have "quite a lifestyle" with my children. An extremely distinctive way of experiencing our existence.

Yes, I can live with that.... and am blessed to be on a journey to add another to our extremely distinctive way.

Pulling my hair out...

Well, I would be, but I need to keep every last strand I got!

Scenerio:

2nd to the last item I need to get for my dossier: Child Abuse/Neglect Clearance letter.

1. Ask adoption agency, "How do I get that?" You should get it as part of your homestudy.


2. Talk to Homestudy agency, "Can you give me this?" We already have your fingerprint clearance still associated with our office from your last adoption. So if you need a letter, contact Dept of Justice, this number, talk to Lena (in records) and she get can one for you.


3. Call Lena, get voicemail, says leave a message and she will call you back in two days.


4. 8 days later, still no call. Talk to Homestudy agency, is there another way to get this letter? Try this number xxx-xxxx


5. Call xxx-xxxx, get a recording that says if you need a clearnce letter, call this number yyy-yyyy and push option 3.


6. Call yyy-yyyy and pusch option 3, gives three more options, none that matches my situation, closes says pay $32 and get fingerprinted to get your letter. (I already AM fingerprinted) so I push zero hoping to talk to someone. Get an operator, tell my long story and she transfers me to...... hold on...guess...Lena's number :)


7. I talk to someone, (not sure if it is Lena, she's not saying) and I share the whole story, again. She says, for your agency your contact is Alberto, call him at zzz-zzzz.


8. I call Alberto at zzz-zzzz and I get his voicemail, he says leave a message and he will call be back in the order the call was received. (Doesn't mention how many days.) I leave the story.

I am now awaiting a callback.

Theory, the patience, self-control, organization, and persistance needed to complete all the paperwork for an adoption and work with all the various agencies involved, is very similiar to the patience, self-control, organization and persistance needed to parent young children while running a household, also similiar to the patience needed to glue 278 tennis balls to the undercarriage of a pick-up truck speeding down the freeway, using only maple syrup.

Guess my character is being built. I be characterized!

Speaks for Itself...

Chuga-Chuga-Chuga...

No, that is not the sound of me drinking milk out of the jug....that is the sound of my "Paperchase" train speeding on down the track! I am almost at the end of my collecting phase. My bank called today and they are mailing their NOTARIZED reference letter (those of you on this journey, know how hard it is to get some banks to notarize a letter)... ..

Check mark, another item checked off.

I am waiting on another clearance letter, then all I have left to garner for my dossier is my Homestudy (BIG THING) and my immigration 171H (LONG WAIT THING, with an imbedded long wait thing for fingerprinting).

But still, it is good, to be chugging along and getting my part done!

Chuga, chuga, chuga....toot toot!

Lemonade from Lemons...

So much has transpired the last three days..... and God makes lemonade from lemons...

So a lemon, something sour, and although beneficial, not too tastey alone....but with the sugar of God's Spirit, it can be quite refreshing.

The little girl I thought might be our "Olivia", turned out not to be. She had been referred to another family and accepted. I praise God that she has a forever family. I pray it is a Christian family and that through this her eternity is changed.

So..although it may taste a little sour to me...it is sweet for her...and it truly is sweet for us too. Sweet to know she has a family, yes. Also sweet because of the work God did in me through this. A couple things:

First, as I thought about this girl and how our life would change, how it would work, I came to realize a 6 yr old would be a better fit into our family. What I was reluctant,at first to consider, thinking it my second or ?? choice, has ended up being my first choice. So God used this possible referral as a way to open that door.

The second is that I got really sick on Sunday with a headache. I HATE when that happens. When it does, I just shutdown, throw up, can't move...etc. I am so self-reliant and HATE to ask for help. But, alas, my son Nicholas insisted, and I realized I had to. A dear friend became my Florence Nightinggale. Donna came over, cooked the kids dinner, got them in their jammies, did laundry, dishes, even went to the grocery store to stock us up on a few things, then stayed until 11 pm until all were sleeping. How awesome was that. This really showed me how special her friendship is and how giving she is. She really is a big support to my little family. Thank you Donna.

The third thing is in being sick, way in the middle of the night, dark, sad, feeling sorry for myself, I started questioning the adoption. Life can be hard sometime and was I nuts, adding more complexity to it? In the night I went over again and again the pros of adopting and the pros of not adopting. And did not come up with an answer. There is good on both sides of the equation. But the bottom line I kept coming to was, what about her? What about this daughter out there who would not have us? And how would it change us to not have her? I knew I could not make any decisions when I was sick and emotionally down. I thought, when I feel better, I will write this all out to God and work it out...The best decision.

This morning, feeling better, not 100%, I prayed about it. By what seems serendipity, I viewed a utube video called Ethiopia Adoption, by a family called Avery. I cried. It just renewed again in my heart why I am on this journey. I felt sad in the video, there is a daddy in it that is SO into adopting his children, you can tell. And that is something we lack, something God knows I long for. But I do not see that in our life. Regardless, walking this road as a single parent, I realized again, why I am doing it. And yes, it will not always be easy, but it is right..for us.

Later in the day, I found out the little girl we had been sent information on was accepted by another family. God works in strange ways. Rather than making me second guess my fresh resolve, it just reinforced it. I am so happy she has a family. God knows why He did not choose ours, but no plan of His can be thwarted.

So we continue with the paperchase and wait on God. He is leading, we are following.